Your Friends Mirror You, Do You Like The Reflection?

October 28, 2019,

Imagining our lives in a modern competitive world without mirrors is not reflective of wise thinking.

Wouldn’t you agree?

Mirrors are very powerful, symbolic and most important, revealing.

Perhaps that is why they have been featured so prominently in historic fairy tales that continue to captivate us.

Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, The Snow Queen, The Looking Glass and The Lady of Shalott’s Mirror to name a few.

The reflection tale that best suits our story here is that of the Legend of Narcissus.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. According to Tzetzes, he was a Laconian hunter who loved everything beautiful.

Narcissus was proud, in that he disdained those who loved him, causing some to commit suicide to prove their unrelenting devotion to his striking beauty. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself and one’s physical appearance or public perception.

How fixated did the young man become?

He fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Nothing wrong with that you say?

His legend would not agree.

Narcissus, unable to draw himself away from the pool, withered away in despair until he finally died of thirst and starvation.

Who reflects us far more than any powerful mirror?

Our friends and associates.

Why not our family? We had no choice in the choosing of our family. We we’re born into that situation.

Friends and associates? That is a vastly different reflection.

We turn to film for two examples.

Days of Wine and Roses is a 1962 drama film directed by Blake Edwards with a screenplay by JP Miller adapted from his own 1958 Playhouse 90 teleplay of the same name.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com, fcielitecompetitor.com Warner Brothers photo credit

The movie was produced by Martin Manulis, with music by Henry Mancini, and features Jack Lemmon, Lee Remick, Charles Bickford and Jack Klugman.

The film depicts the downward spiral of two average Americans who succumb to alcoholism and attempt to deal with their problems.

An Academy Award went to the film’s theme music, composed by Mancini with lyrics by Johnny Mercer.

Here is the instrumental version. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TpvTEb4BaQ

There were many singers who crooned the tune well but in our opinion, none better than the legendary Any Williams. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF-b9HIcy2Y

The film received four other Oscar nominations, including Best Actor and Best Actress.

In 2018, Days of Wine and Roses was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.”

For Lee Remick’s character, she couldn’t have chosen a more self-destructive partner.

The story line goes, Joe Clay (Jack Lemmon) is a rising young public relations executive when he meets Kirsten Arnesen (Lee Remick), a pretty secretary, at a business party.

Reminds us a little of Don Draper in Mad Men.

Joe and Kirsten are both very ambitious, and they are on the road to success when they fall in love and marry.

When the pressures of the job become too much for him, Joe begins to drink heavily.

Soon after, Joe coaxes Kirsten to begin drinking with him on a regular basis. Previous to his influence, her only vice was her love for chocolate.

Eventually, they are both dependent on alcohol. Their marriage deteriorates, and their lives spiral into disaster, as a result.

At some point Kirsten should have realized that her husband was no good for her and should have given him an ultimatum.

Its one thing to stand by your man but when you can barely stand up, mostly due to his selfishness, why would you continue to have him in your life?

At first it is about him but eventually it truly is about who you are internally.

The opposite tale of securing a friendship that was extremely good for her was Jennifer Beals character Alex in the film Flashdance.

Flashdance is a 1983 American romantic drama film directed by Adrian Lyne and starring Jennifer Beals and Michael Nouri.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com, fcielitecompetitor.com Paramount photo credit

It was the first collaboration of producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, and the presentation of some sequences in the style of music videos was an influence on other 1980s films including Footloose, Purple Rain, and Top Gun, Simpson and Bruckheimer’s most famous production.

Flashdance opened to negative reviews by professional critics, but was a surprise box office success, becoming the third highest-grossing film of 1983 in the United States.

It had a worldwide box-office gross of more than $200 million.

As campy and shallow as some found it to be, give Alex credit. She was wise about how she behaved as a friend.

When her best friend, played by the lovely Sunny Johnson who in real life sadly passed away at 30, begins to slide after failing at the most important skating audition of her life and ends up working at a strip club.

It is Alex who comes to her rescue and saves her from what would most likely be a continual decline and early death.

That is what a good friend does.

She also has an older female mentor who encourages her not to give up on her most important dream with is to be a performance ballet dancer.

The best person to come into her life is Nick who is the owner of the steel mill that she works at.

Once it becomes clear that Alex is being influenced by his charm what often happens in these scenarios with rich and powerful men?

They sleep with the young woman and are ready to depart quickly if she gets pregnant and encourage her to have an abortion which they will happily pay for.

How sweet.

How romantic.

Then they throw her away. How many times have we seen that play out on film?

Nick is different.

Yes he wants to sleep with her. Who wouldn’t? But instead of being completely selfish, he encourages her to stop smoking and most important, with his influence in high places, he provides her with an opportunity to live out her dream.

If only she has courage.

What is also intriguing about this modern energetic video fairy tale is that you don’t get the sense that her Prince Charming is going to live with her happily for ever after.

She doesn’t seek that nor does he.

He simply is a great friend and influence for her.

Once she begins to travel the world with an elite dance company, Nick will most likely not be there.

What are the friends like in your life? How about your associates?

How is their moral compass?

In what ways are they influencing you?

After continually spending time with them, do you substantially find yourself in better situations or in questionable ones?

Do they see a good time as going out to drink, party, get high and have sex with strangers?

We loved the television series Gossip Girl.

More specifically we love Blake Lively.

Gossip Girl is an American teen drama television series based on the book series of the same name written by Cecily von Ziegesar. The series originally ran on The CW network for six seasons from September 19, 2007, to December 17, 2012.

Narrated by the omniscient blogger “Gossip Girl” (voiced by Kristen Bell), the series revolves around the lives of privileged upper-class adolescents living in Manhattan‘s Upper East Side.

The series begins with the return of Upper East Side teenage it girl Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) from a mysterious absence.

She is reunited with her frenemy Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) and her mother Lily van der Woodsen (Kelly Rutherford), while she also meets Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley), an aspiring writer from Brooklyn.

What we observed in the story is there were a lot of frenemies who were always plotting, scheming, drinking, partying and having tons of meaningless sex, unless it had a treacherous purpose.

Our feeling was that Serena should run as far away from this crowd as she could.

Unless she is getting paid big bucks to act in a television series about it.

Our suggestion?

Take a moment and privately analyze your friends and associates. Remember, birds of a feather do indeed flock together. You can tell a lot about a person by the people that they call friends.

They reflect you. Like a mirror.

Here is an important life mirror pathway question for you.