fciwomenswrestling.com article, pexels.com unsplash.com photo
Steady demonstrations of self-control are not just limited to Monks, Public Figures and high profile Sports Casters.
If we are wise, in everyday life, even we as ordinary people need to exhibit that trait more often than not.
The film industry is a wonderful place to find depictions of extraordinary people acting ordinary and no celluloid dream seems to depict an ordinary guy who needed to exercise self-control more than Cary Elwes character Nick in the underground classic, The Crush.
Let’s become flies on the wall and listen in at Wikipedia.
“The Crush is a 1993 American thriller film written and directed by Alan Shapiro, which stars Cary Elwes as Nick Eliot and Alicia Silverstone as Adrian Forrester, in her feature film debut. It was filmed on location from 24 September 1992 to 20 November 1992 in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Arriving in Seattle, Washington, writer Nick Eliot (Cary Elwes) secures a job at Pique magazine and lodging in a guest house belonging to Cliff and Liv Forrester (Kurtwood Smith and Gwynyth Walsh). The handsome Nick soon makes the acquaintance of the Forrester’s 14-year-old daughter Adrian (Alicia Silverstone), a precocious girl who develops an intense attraction to him. She secretly helps Nick by sneaking into his room and rewriting one of his Pique stories, which subsequently wins a rave from his editor/boss, Michael (Matthew Walker). At a party thrown by the Forresters, Nick agrees to accompany the lonely girl on a nighttime drive to a romantic spot, where she kisses him.
This intensifies Adrian’s crush on Nick.”
And so it goes.
There were many fun moments in this thriller.
Who can resist Alicia Silverstone?
If she has a crush on you and pursues you, my friend?
You are going down!!!
And that is the massive point here.
Nick exercised self-control and repeatedly resisted our thoroughly gorgeous starlit. The scene where Nick sneaks into her bedroom to gather evidence and as he hears her sauntering toward her bedroom, alarmed he rushes inside of her closet to hide, is masterful.
She walks into her bedroom and begins to undress.
Nick can see her through a sliver in the closet door. In his erotic excitement he accidentally bumps a hanger. She hears him. Pauses and then with that famous Alicia Silverstone sexy smirk, turns, takes her shirt off and gives Nick the full view.
It’s a classic moment.
It is also a testimony to self-control.
Competitive female grappling, despite its required civilized engagement is where self-control is a valuable quality, otherwise it could turn into a street brawl.
We love aggression, but not that.
As we covered a match in Canoga Park between newbie Cadence who is a street fighter with tattoos and war paint everywhere and the classic feminine shapely So. Cal starlit in Kymberly Jane who has a reputation for enjoying getting dominated in competitive matches by a more dominant woman.
It’s very sexy to watch.
This time Kymberly has the advantage of years of experience so she has a competitive chance against the street fighter so we all speak about this extensively in the pre-match interview.
Cadence allows that she knows how to do a “Blood Choke” where she can cut off your blood circulation to your brain and make you pass out.
We certainly don’t want that.
Kymberly winks at us like she doesn’t believe Cadence.
She then demonstrates it on Kymberly and we get the point.
It’s a sexy aggressive match where our Newbie Cadence must exercise self-control.
This match can be found in the store at http://grapplingstars.com/fvsf-wrestling-videos/
In all female sports of engagement, family life and business activities, self-control is necessary. Is that your reputation? Whether it is or not, we can all improve.
Let’s temporarily go back to school. Here are some interesting lessons from a visiting writer.
Four Effective Ways to Improve Self-Control
By Dr. Pran Rangan | Submitted On September 20, 2016
Self-control is the ability to subdue our impulses in order to achieve longer-term goals rather than responding to immediate impulses. Instead we plan, evaluate and often avoid doing things we’ll regret later. The ability to exert self-control is typically called willpower, which allows us to direct our attention toward goals. And, therefore, it underlies all kinds of achievement.
The Marshmallow Experiment –
A psychologist named Walter Mischel, in a psychology experiment in 1970, placed a treat in front of children and offered them a choice – they could either enjoy a treat of marshmallow now, or wait a brief period of time in order to get two snacks. The experimenter then left the room.
He found on coming into the room after some time that many of the kids immediately ate the marshmallow, but a portion of the kids were able to put off the urge to enjoy the treat now and wait for the reward of getting two delicious goodies later on.
Mischel discovered later that the children, who had waited for the treat, performed better academically than kids, who ate the treat right away. Those, who delayed their gratification, also displayed fewer behavioral problems and later had much higher SAT scores.
In follow-up experiments, Mischel found that using a number of distraction techniques helped children delay gratification more effectively. Such techniques included singing songs, thinking about something else, or covering their eyes.
The children in Mischel’s study had the promise of a secondary reward for waiting just a short period of time. But, on the contrary, everyday scenarios don’t always come with this guarantee and, therefore, it becomes quite difficult to delay gratification.
Unpredictability of future rewards –
The uncertainty about future rewards makes delaying immediate gratification a real challenge. And, that is why, many think why not have immediately which is there in front of us. May be, it may not be there later!
Our everyday life is replete with such examples. If on a diet, many will lose their self-control and give in to temptation to enjoy a delicious dish at a party. They will argue with themselves that even after following a diet plan, they are facing difficulty in losing weight. So why not enjoy the treat! They forget at that time that a weight loss plan requires real self-control.
Developing self-control –
We can look at self-control as a muscle, and just like our physical muscles, we can strengthen it by training. Below are some proven ways to do so –
Perform self-affirmation – According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, self-affirmation can even help one to have more self-control when one is running out. Every time you tell yourself “I can’t,” you’re creating a feedback, which is a reminder of your limitations. This terminology indicates that you’re forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. So, by creating positive affirmations like “I can do it”, you will be able to retrain your responses to situations that require self-control. With many repetitions of such affirmations, you will be able to develop good self-control.
Delay immediate gratification – Delaying immediate gratification is one potent way to develop self-control. Delaying gratification involves the ability to wait to get what one wants. Though it is often quite difficult, it is most important for developing self-control. Choosing a long-term reward over immediate gratification poses a major challenge in many areas of life. One can employ diversionary tactics like thinking about something else, or simply walking out of the sight of tempting object or just reminding yourself that delaying will yield more benefits. It actually has to be done repeatedly before you can strengthen your will-power.
Do meditations regularly – Experts agree across the board that a regular practice of meditation provides many benefits of overall mental and physical well-being to the practitioner. It helps lower the levels of emotional reactivity and impulsivity as it gives a latency to the practitioner before reacting. The latency keeps increasing as the practitioner advances in the practice of meditation. It is this latency period that gives a person enough time to think before reacting, which, in its place, comes as proactive response. So, instead of giving in to the temptation of immediate gratification, you will have some time to change your mind. And it doesn’t take a lifetime of practice but, on the contrary, behavioral changes to counteract reactivity have been observed after eight weeks of brief daily meditation training.
Learn to manage stress – High levels of stress entice us to surrender to temptations, forcing us to make decisions based on short-term outcomes, because the process of decision making requires energy, and we are low on energy level under high stress. By being relaxed, we will be able to make sound decisions with far reaching positive effects. Our self-control gives in, when we are under any kind of high stress, especially if that involves emotions. Thus, we can conclude that if we learn to manage our stress well, we will have better self-control.
Conclusion –
The ability to subdue our impulsivity underlies all kinds of successful achievements. It is quite tempting for us to indulge in instant gratification of our desires, albeit our understanding that it is not beneficial to us, whereas delaying gratification will be beneficial. The classic Marshmallow Experiment testifies to this effect. Our ability to regulate impulsivity and reactivity to life events contributes to lend strength to our self-control. We should help our children to learn and develop self-control as it is easy to create behavioral patterns when their young minds are more suggestible. Nevertheless, self-control can be fortified at any age with sincere efforts and it is worth making efforts.
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OPENING PHOTO pexels.com unsplash.com photo
Sources: brainyquote.com, Wikipedia, fciwomenswrestling2.com, FCI Elite Competitor, photos thank you Wikimedia Commons.
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