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September 23, 2022,
An older man marrying a much younger woman is taking a huge risk.
Sometimes.
Maybe, most of the time.
Increasingly sex is becoming more important to women.
In the informative global publication The Guardian, they educate, “A lot of women in our studies said they just wanted sex for the pure physical pleasure.”
No new revelation there.
The above information emanates from the book Why Women Have Sex. It is by Cindy Meston, a Clinical Psychologist, and David Buss, an Evolutionary Psychologist.
The older the male gets, he can’t perform as powerfully as his very young, strong contemporary.
Sure, he has money and assets to compensate, but that doesn’t appear to inspire love.
Security yes, but not love.
Which raises a question for both men and women. Are you comfortable being in a long-term relationship with a person who likes you but falls in love with someone else?
How hard will you try to hold on to that person that you are absolutely crazy about?
We want to take the pressure off of you.
Thus, our journey starts with the experience of one of male associates we will call Mitch.
Mitch is 45.
At work, this gorgeous woman around 30 started coming on to him. She knew he was married but didn’t care.
He resisted her at first but since his wife at home married him for security and not love, it was nice to have a beautiful young woman pay attention to him especially when his significant other seemed uninterested.
Before he knew it, he fell hard over heels in love with his gorgeous co-worker.
Then something odd began to happen.
The more he began to return her interest, the less interested she became.
One day he walked by her desk, almost obsessed with her, and he saw a picture of her with a bad boy type co-worker who was sleeping with a married woman who also worked in the office.
You should have seen the look on the 30 year old’s face.
She was smiling from ear to ear with her arm around the bad boy and had a look on her face that Mitch absolutely never saw when she looked at him.
Mitch wisely decided to back off from her.
He made a decision, after his experience with his wife, that if a woman was not fully in love with him, painful though it may be, he will walk away from her and not let her toy around with him.
The 30 something liked the idea of twirling Mitch around her pretty little finger but was never in love with him. She liked the idea of him being in love with her.
Any similarities there to your life?
We’ll keep the pressure off of you. As we often do, let’s turn to film.
Before The Dawn was an intriguing Indie.
Here is the storyline.
A beautiful young blonde high school teacher moves to a new town for a fresh start and falls for a troubled student.
You can see trouble brewing hotter than a sizzling pot of java at Starbucks.
He is a student in her class.
She sees him as a special talent.
Can you guess what happens next?
Yes, she starts to tutor him. He loves her paying attention to him. She loves him paying attention to her. He becomes the aggressor. She tries to resist. He is young, dark haired, handsome, rugged (a quiet drug dealer) and virile.
Before you know it, he has this gorgeous blonde in her thirties over and over again.
It was pretty hot.
One big problem.
He is under age.
The producers and writers are clever in the sense that they make him about 17, pretty close to the age of consent.
Where is this going?
There is a male, good guy type teacher who is also attracted to her.
Age appropriate.
He and the blonde have drinks, dance up a storm with her being in complete control, showing her wild side, and she makes it clear that he is a nice guy but she wants to remain friends.
Haven’t you heard that before?
Beneath the surface, in another life, she might get in a relationship with him for security but make no mistake about, he loves her far more than she likes him.
Her drink is keeping her lips moist, but trust us, with him, she’s completely dry down below.
If you were him, could you accept that?
Mitch wouldn’t.
Here, in the film, she is clearly attracted to her young troubled under age bad boy and for her, the sex is amazing.
We have seen this scenario play out so much in film that it becomes a cliché. Why? Because it appears to be solidly based upon reality.
Some examples.
In the film Summer Story, an engaged fresh faced country girl falls deeply in love with the visiting aristocrat traveler staying at her inn and risks everything to run away with him.
Mimi Rogers, a Socialite, clearly married for security and loved being spoiled by a husband she was not remotely in love with in the movie Someone To Watch Over Me. She and her husband were almost like siblings. The cop (Tom Berenger) who is her body guard is the one she really craves and melts in his arms like high priced butter.
One more.
Strangers When We Meet is a 1960 American drama film about two married neighbors who have an affair. The movie was adapted by Evan Hunter from his novel of the same name and directed by Richard Quine. The film stars Kirk Douglas, Kim Novak, Ernie Kovacs, Barbara Rush, and Walter Matthau.
The picture was filmed in Los Angeles, with scenes shot in Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Bel Air, Santa Monica, and Malibu.
The scenery was breathtaking and majestic.
Here, the stunningly beautiful blonde Kim Novak is neglected by her hard working husband (love the cliché) and along comes a rugged, handsome, successful, married architect in Kirk Douglas who pays tons of attention to her, sweeps her off her feet and they passionately fall in love.
Okay, so we feel like Mitch.
There are so many stories and movies that speak to this tragedy.
We’ve come to the conclusion that being in a relationship with someone who is attracted to you but madly in love with someone else, most likely unavailable, is not worth it.
You have to be a person of low self-esteem to put up with that.
So in real life, stay away from it.
It almost always ends badly and tortures you along the way.
Our suggestion?
Only get emotionally involved in that type of relationship with a bag of popcorn and a movie screen in front of you.
~ ~ ~
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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/28/sex-women-relationships-tanya-gold
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strangers_When_We_Meet_(film)
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