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June 6, 2021,
Are you in a relationship where you feel you are on the outside looking in?
It is a simple question.
You do understand what we mean, right?
Inside verses outside.
If the person you are with, is deeply in love with you, wants to constantly be around you, participate in positive activities with you, doesn’t hide things from you and, from time to time, unaware that you can see them, looks at you with love in their eyes, you our friend, are on the inside.
Very inside.
Congratulations. You are very fortunate. Many of us aren’t. Ever.
You earned that, right? Earned it in the sense that you treat them the same way and don’t take them for granted.
Good for you.
On the other hand, if your partner is not passionate about you, needs a lot of alone time, spends excessive time away from you and sometimes flinches at your touch, it sounds like you are on the outside looking in.
We have an associate in our circle we will call Paul who remembers when his wife was cooking in the kitchen with her back to him. He came up behind her to gently snuggle and she immediately pushed him away.
It was an honest reflex.
A little embarrassed by her obvious disdain for him she smiled and apologized and made an excuse that she was caught off guard.
Sure.
Paul noticed that in social settings, when she was around men she felt were superior to him, she was giggly and touchy feely with them, right in front of friends. Not family. She was at least a little more dignified there.
We never liked her.
At all.
They would eventually get divorced. Good for Paul. She was wasting his time and life.
Paul always felt that she settled for him and never truly loved him. It was a corporate marriage of expediency.
We know of situations where person one has fallen madly in love with person two and while person two is clearly interested, they are more enamored with person one being in love with them and fawning all over them than being mutually passionate about their relationship.
Person two feels they have person one on a string. One they can yank, pull or tug anytime they desire.
Or cut.
They keep the relationship going but are often extremely in love with someone else they can’t secure. If they could, they would drop person one in a heartbeat.
Our experience in those situations is to quickly cut ties with person two.
It is a waste of time.
Have some pride and higher self-esteem. It may be temporarily painful but it is truly for the best.
If you are content to be someone’s leftovers or second fiddle, then, in our opinion, you are on the outside looking in.
It can be very chilly outside.
Little Anthony and the Imperials are an American soul vocal group from New York City founded by Clarence Collins in the 1950s and named in part for its lead singer, Jerome Anthony “Little Anthony” Gourdine, who was noted for his high-pitched voice.
They were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on April 4, 2009.
The legendary group touched and warned us about that through song. Here goes:
“I’m on the outside looking in (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
An’ I wanna be, an’ I wanna be back on the inside wi-ith you
You are with somebody new and I don’t know what to do
’cause I’m still in love with you (in love with you)”
We can feel the pain deeply. It hurts to be second in your lover’s life.
Another sensational artist, Sue Thompson wondered what was wrong.
Sue Thompson is an American pop and country music singer. She is best known for the million selling hits “Sad Movies (Make Me Cry)” and “Norman“, both pop hits in the early 1960s and her 1965 hit “Paper Tiger”.
All great songs. It was another song that speaks so painfully to what we speak of here.
What’s wrong Bill?
Her family just brought her a brand new evening dress that Bill was certain to love. The only problem is that Bill is not going to show up for their date.
It is an extremely sad song of one way love.
Finally, we turn to film (as usual) to help drive our point home.
Killing Me Softly is a 2002 erotic thriller film directed by Chen Kaige and starring Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes.
Here is the storyline.
Alice is a young dynamic sexy American woman living in London who believes she is happy in a secure job and a very safe and predictable relationship with her boyfriend.
Something’s missing.
After a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger, she seeks him out, taking a taxi with him to his house and has incredible passionate sex with him. She returns home to her boyfriend and unsuccessfully attempts to bring out the same feelings between them that she had with the strange man.
Her boyfriend even foolishly asks her what does she want him to do?
Look old chap, if you don’t know what to do with her in the sack, soon you’ll be on the outside looking in.
In watching Alice dump her boyfriend, who from a distance almost seemed like a sibling, she did what so many gorgeous women often do. They like the nice stable guy, because he is stable, but not exciting. They try and convince themselves that he is what they want but there is very little spark.
When they meet a handsome, dashing, successful and emotionally detached bad boy, they melt all over and can’t wait to make passionate love to him.
By the way, Sue Thompson wrote another song titled Bad Boy and emphasized that she would stand by him.
Unfortunately, in beautiful blonde Heather Graham’s film, stable guy is headed for the stables where he’ll eat hay with a lot of other stable and safe guys.
Still, stable guy is better off without her.
Here is what we will add though.
Are the people involved, who are being settled for, doing everything they can to improve themselves and make themselves more attractive and successful or are they content to stay pat?
In the film above, the dumped boyfriend was a guy who liked to come home, drink beer, eat fish and chips whilst watching sports on the tele, whilst his bird spoke, but he didn’t hear her.
When she abruptly announced that she was leaving him, he certainly heard her then.
Our view is to keep improving who you are physically, intellectually, financially and professionally.
Do that and more choices and options will come your way.
Your chances of being on the inside greatly increase.
We all deserve better but we have to earn it.
~ ~ ~
OPENING PHOTO Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com Editorial photo credit Romariolen-romario.ienatgmaildotcom-
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_Thompson
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Anthony_and_the_Imperials
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Me_Softly_(film)
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
