Your Goals: The Difference Between Fantasy And A Dream

In terms of pursuit the only subject other than finding your true love and soul mate that seems to approach the skyscraper level of Zen babble which is often comfortably lodged on the 50^th floor where your head can be in the clouds, is this notion that all of us should define our dream life and then sacrifice virtually everything to achieve it.

And you know what?

I actually believe that too. Sort of.

The unfortunate disconnect for many when it comes to defining their dream is that they fail to distinguish a vision that’s pure fantasy from one that is a distant dream, but attainable. The key component that is missing in the former but almost always present in the latter is consequences.

Let’s look at two examples.

In a humorous and enlightening read found at markmanson.net there is an accounting of a woman with a rape fantasy where a handsome virile waiter forces himself upon her in the restroom and then provides some passionate lovemaking. Apparently she had spoken of this often to friends and unknown to her, one of her friends decided to arrange for that very thing to happen. Once caught in the real life situation, thinking of how her real life boyfriend might feel about fantasy realized, our heroine panicked and fled the scene.

She realized that dreams met can have consequences.

On the male side of the aisle we have often heard that when it comes to the ultra-alpha male, James Bond; a butt kicking, danger seeking, love making machine; women want him and we want to be him.

Really?

Okay, sure the women want him. I totally get that.

But as a male do you really want to be speeding down crowded streets in foreign countries or even this country for that matter while someone is shooting at you? Do you really want to get in a fight with four guys at one time?

Hey, I don’t even want to get in a fight with one guy at any time. The furthest I go along those lines is wrestling women in sessions and both Jolene and Cheyenne kicked my, you know what.

Cheyenne Jewel

I did tie Doll Del Fuego who was wrestling for the first time.

Let’s get back to Bond.

Did I mention the part about jumping onto and fighting on top of moving trains barreling over a raging river complimented with jagged boulders about 3 million feet below?

Being James Bond in real life is out. Agreed?

That being said, let’s focus on dreams where we are fully aware that there will be consequences, some yet unseen and the goal is so important to us that we make a decision to take steps and pursue it anyway.

“I hope everyone could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know it’s not the answer.” Jim Carrey.

Female submission wrestlers are our primary customers at https://femcompetitor.com so with an eye toward independent contractors often in my discussions with them there is this fear of the future that when they get older and no longer can command the shoots that they do now, what will they transition in to?

We’ll try and provide customer service and turn to a respected source for a few suggestions. There are so many schools of thought projected out there but one that caught my eye and I learned much from was an article written by Rashmie Jaaju.

Ms. Jaaju is a writer & photographer from New Delhi, India. Rashmie blogs about her creative parenting journey at Mommy Labs. She also writes about natural health, travel & living a life of purpose at Gorgeous Karma. She plans to merge these two sites in the near future. Connect with Rashmie on Twitter and Facebook.

She shares, “It’s crucial to be aware of exactly what you want and don’t want. By this, I mean being so connected with your mind, heart, and soul that you need no external stimuli to understand your heart’s calling. It means to know what you ache for and choose not to do the things that drain your spirit.

Awareness does not come easy. But, being aware and then making a start is equally difficult. Making a start and going all the way—that’s mammoth!

I’ve made numerous starts in my time, and I have confronted and overcome some major hurdles. If you can identify your hurdles early on, it will be much easier to get started.”

Here is her list.

1. DRIVE: The drive to pursue your heart’s longing will emerge only when you recognize and accept that you’re not passionate about what you’re currently doing.
2. RISK: It’s not prudent to get caught up in long-term plans at any stage of your project or entrepreneurial journey. A better approach is to focus on the small steps that connect you to your passion and conviction.
3. CLARITY: Until you create the time to think about what you want and need to do, you will keep spinning in circles within your head, waiting for the day when you suddenly feel enlightened or prepared.
4. THE PERFECT TIME: The perfect time, the perfect method, the perfect idea—these are all illusions that keep us distancing from our dreams. They may be excuses for procrastinating things years away: “When the kids grow up…” “When I get my next promotion…” “When I have more money…”

Oftentimes, these are lies we tell ourselves to avoid taking the plunge. There is no such thing as a perfect idea or a perfect method. Many ideas can be effective if we back them with a sense of purpose and then learn and adjust as we go.

5. FEAR: Maybe you’ve devoted years to training in your field and building a career only to realize you’re not passionate about your work.

You might feel highly resistant to abandoning that profession and pursuing something else. You may also think it’s tantamount to accepting and declaring that your work and life this far were a waste.

The only thing that’s wasteful is denying what you really want.

Living your life on your terms starts with living consciously and courageously and being true to yourself. It may mean letting go of the things you have amassed and unlearning all that you have learned until now; it may mean fighting a lone battle; it may even mean holding on to your belief in the face of reproach, disapproval, and discouragement. But it’s worth doing.

Thank you Rashmie.

If you are a female wrestler and model concerned about the future, what I have gleaned from all the articles that I have read is that the very first step is to separate a fantasy from a dream. A real dream is a vision with great rewards but consequences as well.

The next step is to ask yourself a simple and direct question.

In an ideal world how do I want to make a living when my looks mature and my body breaks down?

Only then can you begin to formulate a plan complete with the initial baby steps that might take months or years to complete that can place you in a position to transition from fantasy, to a defined dream to an important vision fulfilled.

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Sources: brainyquote.com, Wikipedia, fciwomenswrestling.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com, FCI Elite Competitor, https://femcompetitor.com, mindbodygreen.com, theminimalists.com, tinybuddha.com, marcandangel.com, markmanson.net, photos thank you Wiki