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December 10, 2021,
With subjects like this, you have to take your time and meander through the descriptive pathway gingerly.
Part of the reason you do so is because, no matter how much you want to take your emotions out of it and not make it personal, if you have been called one, first of all, you never forget it and, it is very personal.
It is a label that is tossed around generously when sometimes describing another person’s life, usually from a distance, as they either fall into one category or another.
A nasty description.
Either way.
You see, if one proclaims the other person is a winner; that is generally a nasty designation because if they lose their fame, power, money or assets, by the same person’s definition, usually regarding a male, he then is a loser.
The auspicious title of winner appears to be a modern tagging since decades ago, the term was not in widespread vogue. It was previously relegated to people who participated in sports and not their bank accounts or brick and mortar addresses.
The common definition of a loser, again mostly related to sports, is an individual or team that loses consistently.
Recently, the brilliant Oklahoma previous starting quarterback, Spencer Rattler, has been labeled by some, as a loser. The irony is that during the 2021 campaign, he never lost a game.
Apparently, he just never won big enough.
Again, that was the common definition. What is the slang definition of a loser which is more commonly slapped on someone not liked by another?
At dictionary.com they educate, “A misfit, especially someone who has never or seldom been successful at a job, personal relationship, etc.”
Yes, we’ve heard that one before, though that is not quite what we had in mind since, when we’ve heard the term, it is spat out with venom. The following definition seems more modern closer to accuracy.
The team at vocabulary.com shares, “You may have heard loser used to insult someone who has not had a lot of success in life, someone who might not have many friends. This mean slang took root in the 1950s but it wasn’t until the 1990s that kids who loved indie rock reclaimed it as an anti-hero badge of honor, wearing t-shirts with “Loser” written in huge letters across the front. This ironic gesture was meant to show the jocks who the real cool kids were.”
Strange thinking by our team since we did play sports in high school and developed State Champions, but okay, we’ll keep an open mind.
There appears to be this strange trend of redefining long defined terms in new modern ways, like goat.
In sports, goat used to mean you were the person who caused your team to lose. It was based upon something you did or did not do that caused the loss. Typically it was singular in nature, related to one incident at a major junction in the contest.
Now the label has been placed upon consistent super star play.
Go figure.
The label loser hasn’t quite made that transition.
When someone calls you a loser, in high school or before a declined date invitation, it is not a compliment.
The term is so widespread, a song was made about it, ironically by the successful popular singer Beck.
“I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”
No need for that.
What we are attaching to here, is the no friends and financial aspect of it.
In the above example about Oklahoma’s previous starting quarterback, by the insult definition, he is a loser on the field but not off since more than any other player on his team, he has more financial endorsements.
The focus now is on the having friends side of things.
Can we be direct?
It comes across as incredibly shallow.
Having lots of friends, mostly phony, makes you a winner?
We have seen too many teen movies where the popular girls label anyone not in their click, a loser.
We have seen way too many Hollywood films about people searching for fame, money and status who surround themselves with lots of party attendees, to feel like a winner.
Ingrid Goes West is a 2017 American dark comedy drama.
The film stars Aubrey Plaza, Elizabeth Olsen, Billy Magnussen, Wyatt Russell, Pom Klementieff, and O’Shea Jackson Jr., and follows a young woman who moves to Los Angeles in an effort to befriend her Instagram idol.
So, a person is going to move across the country to makes friends with a person she has never met?
Here is the storyline.
Ingrid Thorburn is a mentally unstable young woman in Pennsylvania.
Oh, so that explains it.
After crashing the wedding of Instagram influencer, Charlotte Buckwald, and pepper spraying her, Ingrid checks in to a recovery facility where she “writes” to Charlotte as if she knows her when, in reality, Charlotte commented on one of her pictures once and Ingrid has no way of getting letters to Charlotte.
After being released, Ingrid learns of a social media influencer named Taylor Sloane from a magazine article. Upon arrival, she rents a house in Venice from Dan Pinto, an aspiring screenwriter, and gets a makeover in her style.
After running into Taylor at one of her favorite bookstores, Ingrid follows her to her house and kidnaps her dog, Rothko.
After Taylor puts up “lost dog” posters in the neighborhood, Ingrid returns Rothko, meeting Taylor and her husband Ezra. Ingrid accepts their offer to stay for dinner.
The next day, Dan lends Ingrid his truck to help Taylor move some items to her home in Joshua Tree, on the condition that she return that evening to take a part in a table read of his screenplay. She tells Taylor the truck is her boyfriend’s. They stay out late and party, and on the way home Ingrid damages the truck while driving under the influence.
We think you can see where this is going.
This actually could have been a much better film, speaking to our social ills, if it didn’t go off the rails with at least one ridiculous plotline, like Ingrid kidnapping Taylor’s brother which was really preposterous.
Anyway, there is the showdown scene where Taylor makes it clear to a very desperate Ingrid that she was never her friend because everything Ingrid told her about herself was a lie.
Fair enough.
She then proceeded to berate her about how she is a loser with no friends.
We can’t get over this “no friends” designation since in our long lifespan, having an extremely high people contact life, that friends always have transitional conditions.
Generally speaking, few of us have real friends. Yes, transitional friends based upon our current social, financial and cultural currency but take away those things and the friends leave.
Many people found this out during the pandemic. So many of their co-workers who they used to go out to lunch with and for drinks after work didn’t return their calls during sheltering in time when the office was closed.
Once, what you had in common goes away (work), then the friends go away.
Based upon these experiences, finding real self-worth is actually about self.
If you base your self-worth on what others think about you, then you are in trouble.
If you feel that fitting into a certain circle makes you a winner, then that is sad. Plus, it gives those people incredible power over your life.
More important, as in Ingrid’s case here, if you don’t develop what you love and build your own powerful resume, you will sadly define yourself by being a voyeur into the life of others.
That part the movie got right.
As with so many challenges in life, the ball is in your court. What is the starting place to becoming a winner in your own eyes?
Develop what you love and stick with it. Build a beautiful product and the world will come.
It is about you.
Will your new friends be transitional? Yes. But that is what Ingrid wanted isn’t it? Friends?
Is that what you want?
Who really defines if you are a winner or loser? Them or you?
~ ~ ~
OPENING PHOTO Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com -Arina-Krasnikova-pexels.com-photo-credit
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/loser
https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/loser
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ingrid_Goes_West
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
