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March 27, 2019,
Legendary actresses, globally revered, achieved that status not necessarily just due to their exceptional acting but also because of their other unique qualities displayed on and off the screen.
Linda Evans is an American actress known primarily for her roles on television. In the 1960s she played Audra Barkley, the daughter of Victoria Barkley (played by Barbara Stanwyck) in the Western television series, The Big Valley.
The Big Valley is an American Western television series which ran on ABC from September 15, 1965 to May 19, 1969, starring Barbara Stanwyck as the widow of a wealthy 19th-century California rancher and Richard Long, Lee Majors, Peter Breck and Linda Evans as her family.
We loved the principles and high standards that the Barkley family tried to adhere to. They weren’t perfect but they made a great effort to handle some of the most difficult situations by taking the higher ground.
No one did that better that Audra Barkley.
What a fresh faced beauty.
She was young, impressionable, sometimes naïve and perhaps too often wanted to see the best in every one but what set her apart was how classy she was.
And diplomatic.
A person can be the most beautiful or handsome being in the world, yet if they say insulting and undignified things about others, their looks melt away like tainted wax on a 110 degree day.
No matter the time period, diplomacy should always be in style.
It is the epitome of dealing with people in a sensitive and effective way while displaying skill sets in handling affairs without arousing hostility. It is a very tactful way of handling an awkward situation.
The situations where diplomacy is needed are endless.
We will start with the experience of a person we know.
Cynthia is now middle aged, but when she was younger, she suffered from low self-esteem and the people in her circle who were supposedly friends were aware of that and often took advantage of her.
The key element that betrayed their real thinking was that they constantly complimented her on her intelligence and business acumen but when it came to actually pay for similar services, they always paid someone else.
Cynthia found herself in a situation where one person who excessively complimented her, hinted that they should do business together, even had Cynthia work up proposals that never went anywhere until Cynthia finally figured out what the person was doing.
Did she confront her?
No. In the future when the person complimented her, she smiled and remained silent. When the person began to seek things from her she made up excuses of how busy she had become and could no longer participate.
In anything.
Including socializing.
Good girl.
The person soon got the point.
Diplomacy is sometimes not saying what you mean, but people know exactly what you mean.
“Diplomacy is more than saying or doing the right things at the right time, it is avoiding saying or doing the wrong things at any time.”…Bo Bennett
We knew of another situation where a female friend knew that her boyfriend was cheating on her with a mutual. Once the evidence was confirmed, she eventually confronted her boyfriend but never the cheating friend who she continued to be employed with.
Ultimately she felt it was her boyfriend’s responsibility to ward off any advances her fellow employee had made towards him. The friend was not in a relationship with her.
Her boyfriend was supposed to be.
We sense that all intimate partners have their own unique reasons how much they choose to share with one another or what to withhold.
The concern may be that the price of sharing certain thoughts and feelings would be too high to pay. There may still be a chance to preserve the relationship and once you say certain things, you can never take them back. Besides, your partner may change and by being diplomatic, you have now bought some time to make a decision to preserve the relationship or not.
That is an important point about diplomacy.
It buys you time.
In business, you may need that person down the road for a reference or a contact. They just aren’t that important to tell them what you really think about them.
What they may be able to do for you is.
Politicians know that all too well.
Diplomacy also allows you to preserve the dignity of the other person.
For example, in our relationship story that involved cheating, what if her information was wrong? Speak undiplomatically and now you’ve let the other person know that you didn’t trust them or felt they were a person of lower character.
It is too honest. If you are wrong, it will be hard for them to forget what you’ve said, let alone forgive you.
Correct that.
They will never forget what you said.
Being diplomatic also garners the respect of others who lack that trait themselves.
People can generally see the truth but they respect you more, even if there is a need to call out someone’s behavior publicly, it should still be done with diplomacy.
Then take the needed actions behind closed doors.
“In an ideological age, diplomacy may seem weak and prosaic. But sometimes it is all we have.”… Noah Feldman
Most of all, displaying diplomacy, even when because very transparent that the other party or group is behaving in disgraceful ways, it is a powerful way of demonstrating that you will not allow yourself to be reduced to their level.
Having said that, you would still take steps to end the inappropriate behavior. You’re not a doormat. You just handle the situation with class.
We know of someone who goes to all of his high school reunions. He has evolved into a dignified professional and family man. However when he was a young teen, he could be a real pain.
He remembers girls that he didn’t find attractive and he said some mean things to.
It is interesting that he never sees any of them at his high school reunions.
If they are not attending because they had very bad memories from that time in their life it was probably not due to his behavior alone.
It is very possible that other boys were making fun of them too.
To this day our friend thinks about that almost every day because there is nothing he can do about it. He’ll never see them again and cannot apologize to them.
Now he has to live with it.
For the rest of his life.
It is 2019 and it appears that many have lost their sense of decorum and diplomacy.
How does that make you feel?
Jackie DeShannon is an American singer-songwriter with a string of hit song credits from the 1960s onwards, as both singer and composer.
She was one of the first female singer-songwriters of the rock ‘n’ roll period. She is best known as the singer of What the World Needs Now Is Love.
Sweet love.
Here is an excerpt of her lyrics:
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.
What a beautiful song. While it lasts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TopFgQ65CBw
The year was 1965 but boy wouldn’t you agree we need more of that now?
If love was walking down a tree lined street on a clear quiet day, hand and hand with a beautiful stranger, the classy companion’s name would be diplomacy.
~ ~ ~
Opening photo via pinterest.com
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diplomacy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Evans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa6ej4OqAIo
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Valley
