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March 5, 2022,
You have not chosen to make yourself miserable on purpose.
Or have you?
Without knowing it.
Really?
Isn’t life about making choices and good decision making?
How is your diet?
Not the one where you plan to go on it. One day.
No, the one that you are currently on.
Is it filled with fast foods, sugary sodas, colorful liquors at vibrant dance clubs, beer with a meal at home and wonderful desserts?
You realize where your health is headed, right?
Do you like doctors, medicines and hospitals?
Take your meds bro. Take your meds. Don’t forget.
That is where you’re headed and who is making a decision to eat like that?
You.
So much of life is about decision making.
This one can be a little more challenging but equally devastating.
Who are your friends and associates? Your potential love interest?
Once again, you are making a choice.
Things get real simple.
In general, they will make your life worse or better. Few fall in between.
Your friends have friends. They would like to introduce them to you. For better or worse.
Scrutiny should be in order. Your decision.
Sometimes we want things so badly.
Bad Influence is a 1990 American psychological thriller film directed by Curtis Hanson starring Rob Lowe and James Spader.
In this noirish film, Spader plays a yuppie who meets a mysterious stranger (Lowe) who encourages him to explore his dark side.
Here is the kicker.
The film’s villain is loosely based on a real person, a nomadic surfer who befriended executive producer Morrie Eisenman.
Over a short period of time Alex (Lowe) introduces Michael (Spader) to a life of hedonism, aggression and anarchy. He shows Ruth, Michael’s fiancé, a video of Michael having sex with Claire (Lisa Zane) to break up the engagement Michael, in all fairness, told him he didn’t want.
Be careful what you ask for. Wish for. Some people can make those dreams come true.
Collateral damage gratis.
Again, your decision.
This revelation creates a distance between Michael and his brother and involves him in armed robbery and a drug fueled crime spree.
We think you can get the rest of it.
Michael had a life he hated. One he felt trapped in. He wanted to escape.
Boy did he.
Often, bringing the wrong people into our lives is about low self-esteem. About not taking the responsibility to take steps and change our life ourselves.
Which now brings our discussion into focus.
Where are you at in your life right now?
If things are going well, you have a great job, family, friends and great vacations, we sense you can skip the rest.
But what if you don’t?
Maybe stick around.
First off, you can absolutely eat healthier. We so often write about Fitness Influencers and almost all of them sell diet plans that are very healthy for you.
You can seek their guidance for that.
Here we are focusing on something that could become problematic.
Very disruptive. Life altering.
If you are single, and many of us are, you may be in a risk, reward situation.
According to census.gov, “The percentage of adults living with a spouse decreased from 52% to 50% over the past decade, according to newly released estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau’s annual America’s Families and Living Arrangements table package.
At the same time, living alone became slightly more common: 37 million (15%) adults age 18 and over lived alone in early 2021, up from 33 million (14%) in 2011.”
Yes, millions of us are now living alone.
There are a lot of challenges with living alone.
Here is one. As reported by metro.co.uk, “One study found that those who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people.”
There are other issues with living alone that include health related maladies to being alone during the Holidays while others are surrounded with family to not enjoying romantic and important moments with someone special.
Well, reach out to people, find someone special and things will change.
Easier said than done.
Let’s cut to the chase. Will the person you seek make your nice quiet life better or worse?
Risk verses reward.
We know of someone in our circle who grades her life.
With 100 percent being the happiest you can be on the meter, currently single, earning plenty of money, in good health and having a number of friends, she would rate her happiness at about 80 percent.
She does want to someday have children, meet the right person, get married and have a fuller life that could inch her closer to the 90 to 100 percent happiness threshold.
But it is a risk.
In today’s world, will she find that person?
We sense that achieving that will be challenging.
Will the other person have a steady income, be easy to get along with, a compatible sexual partner and have interests that align with hers?
If you are single and in that situation, you have a tough decision to make.
Can you go the rest of your life maintaining the 80 percent level?
What if you get really sick? Lose your job?
Stop.
Let’s don’t think negative.
We say, at some point, you will need to put yourself out there and take a risk but look for someone who is happy with their 80 percent.
Don’t overwhelm each other.
Enjoy common interests and be very honest up front what type of package you are looking for.
Depending upon your age, do you really want marriage or to maintain your nice quiet life and from time to time, dip your toe in the water with someone who desires the same program?
From our view, living alone is very hard but being trapped in a situation with someone who slowly but continually brings bad things in to your life is far worse.
So, what’s our thinking?
Somehow we would plan to progressively bring different people into our lives where we control the relationship.
Positive situations. Not support groups where others there may be hiding severe problems.
For repetition, positive situations.
A therapist that we can talk to.
A massage professional for a human touch but strictly professional where there is not sex involved.
Organizing a lunch outing with friends, where you have fun, soon part ways and enjoy something else.
From our view, reach out, but reach out into situations where you are in control for positive human contact.
Again, for repetition. Create new positive scenarios, often paid for by you, where you control the narrative. We are social animals so human contact is very important. Create positive situations that you have control of, can expand or end abruptly.
Protect that 80 percent.
Eighty percent of happiness may not be the greatest but in our book?
It’s actually really good.
~ ~ ~
OPENING PHOTO fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com, femcompetitior.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com Editorial-photo-credit-RomarioIen-Shutterstock-.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Influence_(film)
https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/families-and-living-arrangements.html
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
