The Happiness You Can Control – FEMCOMPETITOR MAGAZINE

April 19, 2020,

Frequent discussions about the eternal quest of virtually every human being on the planet, is to be happy.

Yes, it can take on different philosophical pathways but ultimately that’s what most of us want.

If happiness were measured in percentages, with 100 percent being the ultimate, is it possible that, while we can’t control everything, effectively focusing on the things that we can control will raise the percentages?

We think so, don’t you?

Let’s continue to follow that line of reasoning.

If that thought process is true, wouldn’t it be more prudent to spend the finite allotment of 24 hours that we have each day focusing on what we can control that will make us happy as opposed to depleting large blocks of that time worrying about what we can’t control?

As far as this notion that we have a large amount of control over our lives, our experience has taught us that is only marginally true.

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Here are a couple of examples.

A friend of ours who we will call Nadia was visiting relatives in another city and stayed at a very nice hotel. The thought that anything negative would happen never crossed her mind.

As she pulled the covers over her to get a good night’s sleep, within an hour she felt a strong burning sensation on her left arm. She then turned the light on and saw that she has a small bump on her arm and concluded that she had been bitten by something.

Fortunately for her, after going to the hospital she was relieved to know that it was not a spider bite which in some cases the poisons can induce some very severe symptoms.

Having said that, she was bitten by something.

Why might that be the case?

As nice as the hotel was, it was doing some remodeling which is a euphemism for construction.

Construction is down and dirty and can stir up the critters that were long dormant.

When Nadia booked the room, she only thought about the luxury at a very reasonable price. It never dawned on her that while a hotel is under construction, there is a greater possibility you will come into contact with insects whose nest have been stirred up.

Did everyone at the hotel that night get bitten?

No. Probably only Nadia.

She had no control over that.

Earthquakes shake, fires rage, diseases strike, twisters tear, cars crash, floods inundate, criminals commit crimes and in all of those scenarios, if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, you have little to no control over what happens to you.

Pandemics globally rage.

So why keep worrying about it?

Why not focus on the things that you can control which may increase your level of happiness?

The road to becoming happier is fairly simple. Truly. We will keep it simple here by walking through what may be a typical day for many.

Get a good night’s rest. You are more likely to make mistakes, be irritable and under perform at work when you get little to no sleep.

This is really important and something on most nights that you can control.

The leaders at healthysleep.med.harvard.edu educate, “We know that going without sleep for too long makes us feel terrible, and that getting a good night’s sleep can make us feel ready to take on the world. Sleep, learning, and memory are complex phenomena that are not entirely understood. However, animal and human studies suggest that the quantity and quality of sleep have a profound impact on learning and memory.”

So be ready to take on each day fully alert. That is one step towards having a good day.

Leave home early to have plenty of time to get to work.

It may mean that you have to go to bed earlier. Small sacrifice to make.

By leaving home earlier and allowing yourself plenty of time to get to work, taking into consideration traffic issues and the like, when you arrive at work, say 15-20 minutes early, it provides you with time to relax and comfortably prepare for a happier day.

Two important steps in the happiness process that you have major control over.

We can’t say enough how we know of people who cut step two really close. If it takes a 30 minute commute to get to work, they leave the house 30 minutes before their shift, assuming that everything traveling down the highway will work out fine.

Most of the time it does.

Wait a minute.

Actually our experience has taught us that some of the time it does.

Other times it absolutely doesn’t.

Quite a few other times actually.

Now it places you as a driver in a position to be more irritable at slow moving cars, blowing your horn, pressing yellow lights and possibly even speeding. Here, with something that you had major control over, by leaving on time so to speak, look at the risk for bad things to happen that you have placed yourself in.

If anything goes wrong, you are less likely to have a good day.

Perhaps you are participating in steps one and two properly.

Now you enter work with the potential to have a nice day.

Once there, how can you continue to have a nice day if you have a difficult co-worker?

You can’t control what they do. All you can do is control how you respond to it.

Exercise self-control. Be polite. Ignore insults. Keep doing this and they will tire of trying to get a rise out of you.

You have complete control over how you respond. Sometimes quiet documentation with times, dates and descriptions of what occurred may work in your favor.

Your fellow employees will notice what is going on and if there ever is a time to speak to management, you will most likely have witnesses and allies.

Most important, consider the source.

Why let someone who is unimportant to you ruin your day?

Our suggestion is, don’t.

Relax and have a nice healthy lunch.

When you drive home, take your time.

There really is no rush.

By applying these things one day at a time, look what begins to happen to your happiness percentages by the week, month, years and decade?

Do you see our point?