Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com By-Puhhha-Editorial-photo-credit-Shutterstock
June 22, 2021,
A conglomerate of hopes and dreams, past and present, along with future possibilities, help shape your vision.
As you re-shape and re-work it over and over, you are certain it is going to work. The future will be just as you predicted.
Then real life happens.
Not only is the future not as you predicted, it’s not evenly remotely close.
Trisha had a clear idea of a business venture she wanted to enact, partnering with two of her former associates that she was extremely confident would work. Previously they were all employees and subordinates together but she knew they had the talent, experience and expertise to go it alone.
As she was forming her plan, she decided to wait to express it to both of them.
When she was finally ready with a plan that she knew they would love, one had moved out of state and the other formed her own small business.
Trisha was devastated.
We love to turn to film, which often is an exceptional teacher in helping us learn the life lessons involved that can help us cope with our own situation.
Next is the story of a beautiful young couple who were financially well off and widely respected in their community.
They seemed to have it all. And they did.
Except a child.
The Nest is a BBC One five-part television drama series starring Sophie Rundle and Martin Compston as a married couple unable to conceive with Mirren Mack as the 18-year-old who offers to be their surrogate mother.
Sounds complicated?
You don’t know the half of it.
Things do get complicated because they are partnering with an 18 year old who has a past.
Contracting out with an 18 year old is risky enough. Add a volatile past to her resume, which includes murder, and risky now transitions into explosive.
One reviewer summarizes the series well, “Fine actors but story line took too many unnecessary turns. Aside from Dan, none of the other characters were sympathetic enough for me to care. Emily is a spoiled princess who would stop at nothing to get what she wants, a fact she admitted at the end, but not before her need to have a baby brought huge life changing upheavals to those around her. No brains. Kaya is a wayward teenager who saw an opportunity to fleece the wealthy couple but in the end her greed backfired.”
Talk about having a wonderful vision then real life happens.
We agree with the reviewer.
The question we ask is, what do you do when life happens while you’ve been busy making other plans?
In our experience, the first thing you have to do is survive the gut check. Don’t rush into Plan B without absorbing the loss and full gravity of failed Plan A. This is really important. Take some time to grieve. Ask yourself what went wrong and why you were so sure this plan would work. As important, why did you allow yourself to get so emotionally invested in a plan that perhaps you should have probed a little more first?
Say for example, Trish above could have asked one of her dream partners what they thought about going into business together and the expression on the other person’s face reads, “You thought we were friends?”
If you take responsibility for your presumptuousness and somewhat naïve belief process, those are the first steps on the pathway towards change and a second chance.
The always reliable experts at psychologytoday.com suggest, “When you overly personalize a disappointment, you make it about who you are as a person and do not take into account the many situational factors that had nothing to do with you.”
Very good point.
After you have grieved, it is time to slowly take steps to move forward without repeating the same behavior.
Question for you.
How important is that first vision to you? If it is still important, what alternate pathway should you take to get there?
One pathway where people have a very strong vision, albeit often a very naïve one, is when they choose and follow head strong into a new religion. In their minds they have finally met all of the right people, they have formed a new family better than their previous dysfunctional blood related one and they finally understand the elusive meaning of life thus now have a vision of a future perfect life with their creator.
Then reality slowly sets in.
For those of us who have been a part of organized religion, it is such a common pattern.
Reality, by the way, means severe disappointment.
A film that epitomes a religious vision gone sour is Martha Marcy May Marlene (at least they didn’t say Sybil).
Martha Marcy May Marlene is a 2011 American dramatic thriller film written and directed by Sean Durkin, and starring Elizabeth Olsen, John Hawkes, Sarah Paulson, and Hugh Dancy. The plot focuses on a young woman suffering from delusions and paranoia after returning to her family from an abusive cult in the Catskill Mountains.
During our viewing of this cult classic (excuse the pun) we could feel our heroine’s extreme disappointment that her vision went awry.
How could she be so wrong?
A very insightful reviewer at filmindependent.org muses, “Unfortunately, she’s having trouble differentiating reality from her dreams, and is incapable of being free from the haunting memories of her cult life.”
Ah, there we go again. Dreams. Visions. Why not just give up since many visions are delusions of grandeur?
Without a vision, you run the risk of wandering through life aimlessly. Then at some point, life passes you by.
“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.”… Joel A. Barker
Our suggestion? At every stage of your life you should have a future vision being shaped and formed. Why?
Because life is one big transition and even if things are currently aligned perfectly, they may not always be that way.
You need to keep shaping a vision of your future transition.
Yes, you might be a little naïve at first but as time goes on, you will get better at formulating, honing down and perfecting your vision.
It is a matter of practice and eventually practice does make perfect.
~ ~ ~
OPENING PHOTO Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com By-Puhhha-Editorial-photo-credit-Shutterstock
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nest_(British_TV_series)
https://www.amazon.com/The-Nest-Series-1/dp/B08CRVJXMC
https://decider.com/2020/07/13/the-nest-acorn-tv-stream-it-or-skip-it/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202103/4-ways-recover-life-s-disappointments
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha_Marcy_May_Marlene
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/vision-quotes
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
