Less Is More When More Is Not Desirable

March 13, 2020,

Bad things happen to good people all of the time.

That is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s kind of a thing. A horrible thing if the person is you or someone that you love.

A thing we wished that we wish wouldn’t happen to anyone unless we are jealous of the person involved.

It reminds us of a saying by a famous person who did a lot of good things in his life.

Frank Lloyd Wright, born June 8, 1967 – April 9, 1959, was an American architect, interior designer, writer, and educator, whose creative period spanned more than 70 years, designing more than 1,000 structures, of which 532 were completed.

One of the many reasons why Mr. Wrights works became famous was because he designed structures that were in harmony with humanity and its environment, a philosophy he called organic architecture.

This philosophy was best exemplified by Fallingwater (1935), which has been called “the best all-time work of American architecture.”

In addition to his houses, Mr. Wright designed original and innovative offices, churches, schools, skyscrapers, hotels, museums, and other structures.

He was once quoted as expressing, “Less is only more where more is no good.”

Imagine that you know someone in your circle who is wildly successful and you find yourself being compared to them by comparison.

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They are considered a friend.

Considered is the operative word here.

You like them, or at least you did, especially when you find out that they inherited some money and paid their house off in full.

They then purchased a larger one, placed it on a 15 year loan and she or he received a large job promotion.

You are renting.

They are renting out the first home. Not to you because you can’t afford it.

Less is only more where more is no good. Would you say for more good things to happen to them is where more is no good?

You feel terrible about it but privately it is hard to be around someone so successful.

Then, to your surprise, you get laid off.

It came out of nowhere.

How you respond to your situation will most likely define the rest of your life.

How does your friend respond, you ask?

Well, it is not about them, now is it?

One thing we can tell you not to do is seek out sympathy, empathy or pity.

Why not?

In our experience, at first receiving all of those things may feel a bit soothing but always remember that they are short-term.

Very short-term.

Your friends at first may feign sympathy with you but ultimately their question revolves about what you are going to do about your unfortunate situation.

You are tempted to do many things but here is what you shouldn’t do.

Time Out is a 2001 French drama film directed by Laurent Cantet and starring Aurélien Recoing and Karin Viard.

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The film is loosely based on the life story of Jean-Claude Romand (though without the criminal element), and it focuses on one of Cantet’s favorite subjects: a man’s relationship with his job.

The film received considerable attention internationally and was shown at the Venice Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival. It was one of the independent films to be featured at the New York Film Festival.

The storyline follows the life of Vincent, a middle-aged man who is fired after having spent more than 11 years working for a prestigious consulting firm.

When the good times were good, he was a man admired by all.

Unable to admit to his family that he has been fired, the unemployed former executive continues to pretend he is going to the office every day. In reality, Vincent spends his time aimlessly driving the highways of France and Switzerland, reading papers, or sleeping in his car.

As time progresses, Vincent invents more and more elaborate lies, throwing himself into a vicious spiral of deceit. To sustain his bourgeois lifestyle, Vincent sets up an investment scam and is eventually enlisted into smuggling by career thief Jean-Michel. Murielle, Vincent’s wife, after discovering her husband’s “life of lies” attempts to bring him back into the realm of reality.

So many life lessons can be learned from film. And movie reviewers.

The exceptional team at rogerebert.com surmise, “You would think the movie would be about how this life of deception, these lonely weeks on the road, wear him down. Actually, he seems more worn out by the experience of interacting with his family during his visits at home.”

Therein seems to be the key.

Perhaps we place a tremendous burden upon ourselves if we are overly concerned about what others are doing and achieving, like our extremely successful friend who paid off the house or our family with great expectations.

But you know what?

We’ve found that it is virtually impossible not to be concerned about either of the above situations and how others think or feel about us. Our self-esteem and worth are so closely tied to both.

One thing we do know is if the good does not happen for us, to never seek out pity and sympathy.

Pity and sympathy from others are always temporary, especially if the people involved are dependent upon your success.

Pity and sympathy soon turn into a lack of respect and resentment.

We all know the solution is to how to respond when bad things happen to us.

The first step is to ask ourselves, what steps that we can take to change and improve our situation.

We’ve found it best not to talk about it but instead become very involved in the process of doing something about it.

Though human nature often dictates that we do, the first mistake is to compare our situation to others. In the example above, the person paid off their house through an inheritance. They did not earn the money themselves. Good fortune indeed but that shouldn’t be our concern.

Easier said than done.