If Your Previous Great Life Is Gone, Stay Relevant

August 1, 2019,

Theirs is a modern day story that often plays out at State Fairs, modest hotel casino rooms and moderate sized venues in dimly lit spaces filled with memories and deep appreciation.

Sometimes tears.

They are musicians who once ruled the entertainment world when they were young with massive number one hits, now well over 20 years ago.

When they had hair.

Dark hair.

And a much smaller waistline.

Still, even today, they have their fans.

Who are getting older and dying off too.

If they have any hope of capturing the old magic and mojo, they have to find a way to strike a rhythmic cord with a much younger audience.

They have to find a way to stay relevant in an increasingly younger world.

But you know what? It’s not just about old rockers, jazz musicians and soul singers.

As we age, isn’t that true for all us?

Someway, somehow, we still have to stay relevant or society will push us aside too, as relics of the past.

Left alone where no one cares.

No hotel rooms for us to sing in to well-wishers.

Once when we were young and good looking, it seemed like we attracted lovers like bees to honey. They couldn’t get enough of us.

At times they even wanted something extremely important from us.

If we were marriage material, then the parents loved us too. They just didn’t invite us over for dinner because of our wit. In the back of their mind, they saw as a potential life-long mate for their precious child.

Those windows soon close if not climbed through.

Then the dinner invitations decline.

If we do tie the knot, soon the children come and we as parents are incredibly relevant as the little ones depend upon us for virtually everything.

Then they grow up as they always do.

Then they leave.

Are we still relevant?

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If we aren’t and our relationship with our mate was not what is should be, sometimes they leave too.

We are no longer relevant to them. If that occurs, which it has for some of our friends, it reminds us of a very sad but always relevant song.

Leon Russell was an American musician and songwriter who was involved with numerous bestselling pop music records during his 60-year career. His genres included pop, country, rock, folk, gospel, bluegrass, rhythm and blues, folk rock, blues rock, surf, standards, and Tulsa Sound.

His collaborations rank as some of the most successful in music history, and as a touring musician he performed with hundreds of notable artists.

He recorded 33 albums and at least 430 songs.

His recordings earned six gold records. He received two Grammy awards from seven nominations. In 2011, he was inducted into both the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame.

Our favorite Leon Russell song is Lady Blue. Deeply moving. Here are some of the lyrics.

“Well, you’re showing me different sign
Even after the flame is dyin’ You’ll get used to me baby
You just wait and see oh lady
Cause I’ve been in love before
And I love you a whole lot more

Lady Blue

While it lasts, please enjoy the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoCBTxHFToE

After raising beautiful children together, having a mate leave you for someone else is an extremely painful experience.

And yet if it does happen, we still need to keep going.

We still have to stay relevant. Not to our mate. For our own self-esteem and self-worth.

Where can we look for inspiration?

Exceptional films. One that comes to mind is An Unmarried Woman.

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An Unmarried Woman is a 1978 American comedy-drama film written and directed by Paul Mazursky and starring Jill Clayburgh and Alan Bates.

In our view it was anything but funny. Mostly it was deeply sad and very penetrating.

Very truthful too.

Relevant in the 70’s. The message therein is still very relevant today.

The timeless movie reviewer, Roger Ebert in 1978 adds, “Clayburgh takes chances in this movie. She’s out on an emotional limb. She’s letting us see and experience things that many actresses simply couldn’t reveal.”

As only she could brilliantly do.

The film was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture and Ms. Clayburgh was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress.

Here is the storyline.

The perfect life of wealthy New York City wife Erica Benton (Jill Clayburgh) is shattered when her stockbroker husband Martin (Michael Murphy) leaves her for a younger woman. The film documents Erica’s attempts at being single again, where she suffers confusion, sadness, and rage.

As her life progresses, she begins to bond with several friends and finds herself inspired and even happier by her renewed liberation. The story also touches on the overall sexual liberation of the 1970s. Erica eventually finds love with a rugged, yet sensitive British artist (Alan Bates).

Good for her.

No matter what walk of life or at what stage of it we are in, staying relevant often means re-inventing ourselves. We have to painfully accept that whatever past we thought we had, that we hoped would continue into the future, is permanently gone.

We will never get it back. Please stop trying, even if you keep crying.

The sooner we realize that, the sooner we can take stock of what we truly want in what life is left and begin to take steps to build a highway that will propel us there.

The one constant about life is that it will absolutely change. Always.

At times it is a brutal Change Merchant.

“My major ambition is just to stay relevant.”…James Corden

Continuing to re-evaluate what we want out of our new life will keep us very relevant to the new people of the future and maybe to our surprise, possibly very happy.

Even if we have become less relevant to people of the past, with sustained effort in building our new life, we will become very relevant to the most important person in the world.