September 13, 2023,
Why is the perfect life, possibly not the perfect way, to live and go through life?
An argument could be made, it is hard to empathize with others, until you’ve experienced it yourself.
If you are a person who was born into a nice family with money, grew up in upscale neighborhoods, attended exclusive private schools, worked in your parent’s or relative’s company and was accepted into an elite university, how hard or easy would it be for you to relate to others in tougher circumstances.
Like poor people.
Like homeless people.
Like women who have turned to drugs or prostitution after years of sexual abuse in the home.
Like people who had their monthly rent increased by 50 percent.
We could go on, but we think you get the point.
What is empathy?
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another’s position.
Definitions of empathy encompass a broad range of social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others emotional situations.
The team at psychologytoday.com share, “empathy is the ability to hold space for another person’s feelings and communicate to them you understand their emotional landscape.”
The article goes on to add, according to a 2007 study on empathy, published by Nature Neuroscience, only 1 to 2 percent of the population are truly empathetic.
Given what we read in the news, that figure is not surprising.
The National Library of Medicine educates, “Empathy plays a critical interpersonal and societal role, enabling sharing of experiences, needs, and desires between individuals and providing an emotional bridge that promotes pro-social behavior.”
Pro social behavior. We’re going to think on that for a second and then do what we often do.
Turn to the movies.
Time Out of Mind is a 2014 American drama film written and directed by Oren Moverman and starring Richard Gere, Jena Malone, Ben Vereen, Kyra Sedgwick, and Steve Buscemi.
It was released on September 11, 2015, by IFC Films.
Set in the urban cacophony of New York City, the story begins with the mild-mannered but confused George (Gere) being thrown out from an apartment by Art (Buscemi).
Later viewers find out this apartment was not his, but rented to an evicted acquaintance, whom he calls “Sheila” (Sedgwick). From the start, George is indigent; he claims that someone has stolen his wallet. One can only guess he had been living on the edge for a while. Several attempted telephone calls yield no help, and George is forced to sleep on the streets.
At one point, seeking warmth, he sits at a public hospital emergency room where he is approached by staff nurse Maire who treats him with compassion.
Here is what the respected reviewers at rogerebert.com observed, “Watching “Time Out of Mind” is not like the ordinary experience of watching a movie; it’s more like being in a public place and deciding to allow the scene around you to become a drama.”
What we admired most about the film is, an A list actor like Richard Gere most likely can pick and choose his projects. From previous interviews, we gleaned that he was empathetic to the plight of the homeless and, emphasized how invisible they can become. They shouldn’t be.
They are someone’s child.
In the movie’s case, someone’s father.
Someone’s friend.
That film experience is something you will probably long remember.
Time for a personal experience from someone in our group.
During the housing crisis of 2008, Paul lost three homes. He was humiliated. What was more alarming was for the first time since he was in college, he had to rent an apartment. It was like throwing money out the car window.
What he began to realize, is that, if he kept renting, he could lose all of his savings, therefore he broke open his retirement accounts and paid cash for a small residence.
What frightened him the most, with the rising rents, where he could find himself paying $2,000 a month, which would eat up a large portion of his monthly retirement income, he could be in big trouble.
Once he ran out of savings and couldn’t pay his monthly rent, he could end up homeless.
This is from someone who worked hard for over 25 years.
Big life lesson. Save your money. That savings account saved him from tremendous embarrassment and hardship.
Believe us when we say, he now has great empathy for the homeless.
Let’s walk over to the bookstore.
The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill
By Karla McLaren (Author)
“What if there were a single skill that could directly and radically improve your relationships and your emotional life? Empathy, teaches Karla McLaren, is that skill. With The Art of Empathy, she teaches us how to perceive and feel the experiences of others with clarity and authenticity―to connect with them more deeply and effectively.
Informed by current insights from neuroscience, social psychology, and healing traditions, this book explores:
Why empathy is not a mystical phenomenon but a natural, innate ability that we can strengthen and develop
• How to identify and regulate our emotions and boundaries
• The process of shifting into the perspective of others
• How to provide support in a sensitive and healthy way
• Insights for navigating our hyper-connected social landscape
• Targeted chapters for improving family, workplace, and intimate relationships
• Ways to expand our empathy to our community, global levels of society, and the natural world
Empathy, reflects Karla McLaren, is the skill that builds bridges― a skill that not only creates connection, but that helps us to be more effective in all areas of our lives.”
We can relate to that.
Our suggestion is not to wait until you find yourself in an unfortunate situation to develop empathy.
Do it from a position of strength.
By becoming more empathetic, we are certain it will expand your view of the world and the human experience, make you a better person in the process and make the earth a much better place to live.
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OPENING PHOTO Andrea-Piacquadio-pexels.com-photo-credit, Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513638/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Out_of_Mind_(2014_film)
https://www.fciwomenswrestling2.com
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/