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October 6, 2023,
Are you determined to accomplish something extremely long-term and important to you, right now?
Hopefully you are.
A line of reasoning could be, that as we transition from one stage of life to the next, we should focus on new goals and dreams to pursue and accomplish, with great determination.
To do that takes resolve.
Takes focus.
Takes a never quit or give up mentality.
Interestingly, what drives us can be based upon something very bad that happened or very good.
There is an expression, the best revenge is living well.
True. We could add, the best revenge is living a long time, especially if some or many family members are waiting for you to die so they can collect on a major inheritance. Our suggestion?
Try and out-live them. Be determined.
Having something to prove can make you very determined as well.
Let’s turn to film, with a focus on one of the greatest actors of all time.
From the Terrace is a 1960 American DeLuxe Color romantic drama film in CinemaScope directed by Mark Robson from a screenplay by Ernest Lehman, based on the 1958 novel of the same name by John O’Hara.
The film stars Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Myrna Loy, Ina Balin, George Grizzard, and Leon Ames, with a young Barbara Eden appearing in one scene.
The plot tells the story of the estranged son of a Pennsylvania factory owner who marries into a prestigious family and moves to New York to seek his fortune.
With that in mind, the question becomes, why is he so determined to seek a great fortune? We won’t spoil the film for you but we would say that is was driven by a strong extrinsic goal.
That is something extremely important to keep in mind.
Are our goals of determination driven by extrinsic motivations? I want to be wealthy. I want to be handsome and powerful so beautiful women will fall in love with me. I want to buy a bigger house than my siblings, college friends and associates. I want to move up in the company even if it means traveling extensively and spending less time with my family.
Intrinsic goals tend to look inward.
I want to become a better person. I want to stay close to and build close relationships with my siblings, college friends and associates. I want to be there for them when they fall. I want to spend a lot of time with my children to place them in a position to have a better material and personal life. In my product that I have built, I want to go green and make the earth a better place.
Hopefully you see the point.
Fortunately in the above film, Paul Newman’s character saw the point before it was too late, and more important, acted upon it.
The team at Psychology Today speaks to this. “You might get a better appreciation of why it is so futile to keep pursuing extrinsic goals to the exclusion or even discounting of intrinsic ones.”
So, let’s make something very clear.
Extrinsic goals by themselves, are not bad. How could the global economy survive without them?
An argument could be made, we need or love cars, fine dining, houses in safe neighborhoods and five star hotels. Most of those products are driven by profit motivations.
The issue becomes one when you place extrinsic goals at such importance that they diminish intrinsic ones.
Let’s walk over to the bookstore.
First a focus on extrinsic goals.
DETERMINATION: The Force Behind Achievement Paperback – September 27, 2020
By KWADWO BOATENG BEMPAH (Author), Rev. Dr. William Dontoh(Author)
“To him that believeth, all things are possible.” This is what this book is about. It enlightens you on how to achieve you dreams; When the will power, faith and fortitude to get things done seem to be lacking, all you need is DETERMINATION; The Force Behind Achievements and you will get to your destination. Determination is the key. Iron sharpens iron and therefore various examples are drawn from the lives of great men to inspire you. We have people in politics like Abraham Lincoln, inventers like Thomas Edison, 21st century icons like Bill Gate, engineers like Orison Swett Madden, pastors like Dag Heward-Mills, Dr. Mensah Otabil and many others from different fields of life share their stories, difficulties, challenges and turning points.
This book is a “must read” for everyone daring for greatness. You will discover how to bring your dreams and visions to pass in spite of obstacles. Welcome on board this flight called DETERMINATION. Fastened your seatbelt for this flight is taking you to your destination no matter the obstacles you encounter. Be blessed!”
That is well-stated in regards to extrinsic goals.
Let’s take a walk inward.
Man’s Search for Meaning Kindle Edition
By Viktor E. Frankl (Author), Harold S. Kushner (Foreword), William J. Winslade(Afterword)
“Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of others he treated later in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl’s theory-known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos (“meaning”)-holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.
At the time of Frankl’s death in 1997, Man’s Search for Meaning had sold more than 10 million copies in twenty-four languages. A 1991 reader survey for the Library of Congress that asked readers to name a “book that made a difference in your life” found Man’s Search for Meaning among the ten most influential books in America.”
A true classic.
In your determined quest, remember to find the balance between your extrinsic and intrinsic motivations.
If you do, once you reach your destination, we sense you will be much happier with the journey along the way.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/From_the_Terrace
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