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November 28, 2021,
When the lead actor involved in the film has a certain look, you know he is going to murder a lot of people or get brutally killed himself. How will he get what he deserves?
Let us count the ways.
By be-heading.
Riddled with 20 bullets.
Blown up in a car.
Stabbed in his sleep.
Shotgun blasted by the DEA.
Stomped and kicked to death on the concrete.
Pushed off the roof of a 50 story skyscraper.
Dropped from a drug ridden helicopter into a jungle.
While he’s choking the father on the living room floor, a ten year old comes up from behind and hits him over the head with a hammer and screams, “Yabbah!” (Short for Yabbah Dabbah Do)
Run over by a dark SUV with tinted non see through windows, going 150 miles per hour.
Getting power swatted in the head by two muscular guys weighing 250 pounds each with MLB regulation baseball bats. Talk about a triple double.
Cut in half by plane, Mate? Duck you sukkah.
Torched with a flame thrower in a burning building.
Drowned by a rogue cop in a raging river, lake, pond, aquarium, bathtub, restaurant sink or swimming pool.
Shanked in prison
Oh, wait, wait, wait. How about this one. The final scene takes place on a farm and the heroine is fleeing from him and runs into a Silo where grain is being stored above. Our monster feels he’s got her cornered. As he walks closer she screams, “What do you want from me?” He comes closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Checkmate.
She then hits a button and all of the thousands of pounds of grain comes falling down on his head.
Final FBI warning, asterisk: Independent film deaths may vary, but not by much.
We’re sure you can think of a few other scenarios.
In the film Feral State, located in swampy Florida, the lead drug dealer escaped the fate of being thrown into still water filled with alligators.
We ponder this because some of these films are based upon real events. Please don’t let the facts get in the way.
What is the greatest curiosity is the decision making process that the people who these stories are about go through.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
To become a drug dealer? In the Florida swamps?
A drug dealer in upper crust New York at swanky Manhattan parties with beautiful young women in tight expensive dresses, maybe. We don’t agree with it, but we could understand the lure.
But the swamps of Florida?
The storyline revolves around a misfit gang of runaways and orphans who are taken in by a dark, greasy haired, wild eyed and charismatic father figure who together wreak havoc throughout the alligator filled swamps and trailer parks of central Florida.
Oh, by the way, he’s also a drug dealer.
Thought it was an entertaining film, if you enjoy watching drug dealers kill each other. Plenty of people seem to.
The team at feralstatemovie.com expand the elements, “Tucked far away from the white sandy beaches and amusement parks is a Florida that few outsiders ever see. Nestled alongside the gator infested swamps and rundown trailer parks lives a charismatic yet dangerous grifter named MACK MONROE (Blevins) who takes in orphans and runaways off the street.
A self proclaimed father to the forgotten, Mack gives these lost souls only semblance of a home they’ve ever known… but at what cost?
Mack trains his ragtag gang in the art of thievery and crime, filling their vulnerable minds with vigilante gospels and together wreak havoc by knocking off drug dealers and meth labs.
Hot on their tail is DETECTIVE ELLIS (McCord), an ass-kicking tough as nails cop who not only fights crime, but is also forced to fight for respect in a patriarchal police force.
Mack and the gang’s world gets flipped upside down with the arrival of a mysterious young girl, who at first seems like the perfect new recruit but turns out to be something far more dangerous than anyone could have imagined.”
Mack Monroe. What a name. What’s his middle name? It’s Florida. Muck.
Mack Muck Monroe.
We like their description better. A hot female detective who is hot on their trail with a hot girlfriend herself.
Who is involved in drugs.
See what we mean about decision making? You see, if you are a butt kicking female cop, who throws drug dealers in jail, shouldn’t you have a girlfriend who is not involved in drugs?
If you thought that decision making is a little odd, you’ll really bring an extra bowl of popcorn into the living room for the next one.
Afternoon Delight is a 2013 American comedy-drama film written and directed by Joey Soloway.
The title reminded us of the 1976 hypnotic song by the Starland Vocal Band. Great for picking up chicks back in the day.
“Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto’s always been ‘when it’s right, it’s right’
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way”
The film takes a little different spin on the babe in the tight clothing theme but comes pretty close.
It stars Kathryn Hahn, Juno Temple, Josh Radnor, and Jane Lynch.
Here the storyline is even crazier, but less violent, than the above drug dealer swamp dance.
Rachel (Kathryn Hahn) is a mother living in an unhappy life, frustrated by the roles of being a stay-at-home mom and not having had sex with her husband Jeff (Josh Radnor) for months.
What is a sex starved lazy spoiled moping mother to do?
She visits her therapist, Lenore (Jane Lynch) but is unable to find any help in her advice.
What advice?
Grow up and act more mature. Focus on the needs of your family and not your selfish desires.
Rachel has another idea. In her mind, a great idea.
Looking to spice up their relationship, she influences her husband to attend a strip club, where Rachel sees McKenna (Juno Temple). Jeff buys her a private lap dance from McKenna; Rachel finds out that McKenna is only 19.
Did this creative Southern California based idea work? Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Afterwards, Rachel and Jeff continue not having sex.
Undaunted and horny, Rachel drives to the neighborhood of the strip club, hoping to see McKenna.
At an espresso hut, she sees McKenna and they start talking. She introduces herself and they become friends, having coffee together regularly.
One day, Rachel finds McKenna thrown out of her residence, and now homeless, so she invites her to stay at her large house.
What a great idea.
While Jeff is less than happy about that (gee, we wonder why), Rachel does not feel that she can kick her out, as she feels she can help McKenna get out of being a stripper. She finds out that McKenna is also a prostitute (big surprise), who has clients she sees regularly.
Wait, don’t they have a young son about five years old?
What? She wants the stripper to babysit her son?
Doesn’t she have relatives?
She does have socialite hipster friends but she wouldn’t dare ask them so she decides to ask a stripper to live in the same house as her husband, who doesn’t seem to be too attracted to Rachel.
She brings in a super sexy 19 year old.
Makes perfect sense right? Don’t you guys just love Rachel?
Do things end well?
What do you think? When was the last time that you invited a stripper to babysit your five year old? Know of any friends who did that?
This absolutely falls into the category of, well it seemed like a great idea at the time.
Rachel, in the snootiest So. Cal Kitty way, treats the young woman like a pet and doesn’t expect that she is not going to poop all over the expensive carpet.
The idea behind this film was so ludicrous that we had to watch it just to see what would happen.
Who knows, on the, seems like it was a great idea at the time ladder, having a stripper for a nanny could be a future trend.
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OPENING PHOTO Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com Vertical-Entertainment-photo-credit-Editorial-use
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10283902/
https://www.feralstatemovie.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afternoon_Delight_(film)
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
