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May 10, 2020,
Cool is a euphemism in trying to describe her.
She is beyond cool.
Beautiful, strong, charismatic, intelligent and strong.
All of those qualities are so obvious.
And yet, when she looks into your eyes and speaks to you, it is as though you are the only one in the room.
Haven’t we all meet a young woman like that? We tend to feel that way when we are young and impressionable ourselves.
In some ways, we want to be like her.
Scratch that.
In virtually all ways we want to be like her.
We had a friend in our circle who we will call Leslie. She was the “It” girl in so many ways.
She completed a Master’s Degree at 23, was extremely good looking and just seemed to know what she wanted and the most effective way to get it.
What most people liked about her, male or female, was how she made you feel when she looked into your eyes and spoke to you. Not condescending, arrogant, flippant or superior.
Just interested.
Very interested.
Extremely interested.
In you. For the moment, you alone.
Now before you fall in love, we didn’t say that she was always sincere. For a window of time, you have something that she wants and she is silently determined to get it.
Our suggestion?
Just go along for the ride.
We did when we were mesmerized by the movie Miss Sloane.
Miss Sloane is a 2016 political thriller film directed by John Madden and written by Jonathan Perera.
The film stars Jessica Chastain, Mark Strong, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Michael Stuhlbarg, Alison Pill, Jake Lacy, John Lithgow, and Sam Waterston.
The film follows Elizabeth Sloane, a fierce lobbyist, who fights for some measures of gun control. However, she is left helpless when the opposing party digs deep into her personal life.
Elizabeth Sloane is a cutthroat lobbyist who has been called to appear at a congressional hearing led by Senator Ronald Sperling to answer questions about possible violations of Senate ethics rules during her tenure at Washington D.C. lobbying firm Cole Kravitz & Waterman.
The film had its world premiere on November 11, 2016, at the AFI Fest, and began a limited theatrical release in the United States on November 25, 2016, by EuropaCorp, before expanding wide on December 9, 2016.
It received generally positive reviews, with Ms. Chastain’s performance being particularly praised.
For good reason.
When we watched it and she spoke, to whomever, we could tell they had her full attention.
For the moment.
For a reason.
It felt good. Captivating. Enthralling. Attracting.
Didn’t say it was sincere though. Let’s just say that she had her agenda.
In a very true story, we have a married male friend in our circle who admitted to falling in love with a gorgeous blonde who was at least 15 years younger than him.
He didn’t want to. Truly.
It was the way that she spoke to him and how she looked deep into his eyes as though he was the only one around.
Later, he could tell that she wasn’t remotely thinking about him. Still, no one quite so beautiful had treated him that way before. He was mature enough and wise enough not to commit adultery and even though the two have long parted ways, he admits to thinking about her every day.
Alicia Silverstone played a beautiful teen in the film Clueless that you couldn’t help but think about every day.
Clueless is a 1995 American coming-of-age teen comedy film written and directed by Amy Heckerling. It stars Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Paul Rudd, Dan Hedaya, and Brittany Murphy.
It was produced by Scott Rudin and Robert Lawrence. It is loosely based on Jane Austen‘s 1815 novel Emma, with a modern-day setting of Beverly Hills.
The plot centers on Cher Horowitz, a rich and beautiful high school student who befriends a new student named Tai Frasier and decides to give her a makeover.
Cher is attractive, popular, and wealthy. She attends Bronson Alcott High School with her best friend, Dionne Davenport, who is also wealthy and beautiful
Clueless was filmed in California over a 40-day schedule.
The film’s director studied real Beverly Hills high school students to understand how real teens in the 1990s talked and learn some appropriate slang terms.
The film grossed $56.1 million in the United States. It has received generally positive reviews from critics and is considered to be one of the best teen films of all time.
For good reason. When Cher spoke, everyone listened.
Now while we don’t necessarily want to be like them. At least not entirely. In terms of making someone that we speak to feel like they are the only one in the room, can we still learn something from them?
One of the characteristics that we learned from Miss Sloane is that she will research your present and your past top to bottom. Believe it.
Thus when she speaks with you, it is so amazing how much she knows about you.
No, “and you are?” behavior from her.
No, “why should I care?” from her either.
She cares. It’s obvious. For the moment of course.
When you speak with others, would it be beneficial to know a little about them and their lives first? Perhaps.
Talk to them.
Listen to them. Keenly. Intently. Don’t do most of the talking.
Don’t interrupt them while they are speaking.
Smile and warmly look into their eyes.
Here is a tip from Mr. Joe Navarro in an article that he wrote for Psychology Today, “Ever see people gather around a newborn and noticed they tilt their heads to the side? Prince William, and in particular Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, are both famous for canting their heads when speaking to others. Why do they do that? Because it works. It works with babies, it works with adults.
Having studied this behavior over the years, invariably those who tilt their head are perceived as more interested, attentive, caring, and having less of an “agenda.”
Intriguing. Makes perfect sense though.
Make sure that you are the one that invited them to a group situation and in some ways let them know that. There was something special about them and you wanted to make sure that they attended.
Are you in love? No. Just interested. For whatever your reasons are.
Whatever it is that you want from them, you have a higher probability of getting it if you demonstrate to them, in a friendly but professional way that you are very interested in them and what they have to say.
Even if it just for the moment because you have to speak with at least three other people within the next hour.
Give them that moment. All of it. With no distractions.
Make them feel like they are the only one in the room because if you want to get what you want, at least for now…
They are.
~ ~ ~
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Sloane
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clueless_(film)
https://www.bustle.com/p/how-to-let-someone-know-youre-interested-without-being-too-obvious-9347078
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/201812/2-behaviors-convey-interest
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
