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November 12, 2021,
Is the difference between contentment and laziness as gray and subjective as we think?
We do feel that the lens in which it is being viewed is often seen through the eyes of a second party.
The primary person involved may not see their state of mind or situation as being lazy. Your view, especially if you are married to them, romantically involved or they are one of your children, most likely will differ substantially from theirs.
We also believe that women view laziness and contentment far differently than men.
In her intriguing blog abbymaroko.medium.com the female writer explains, “The gap, then, between being lazy and feeling content is work. Because, in order to feel happy or satisfied, you must do something. You must try something.”
Really? In bold type.
Must you be doing something?
Who defines that?
She goes on to express that words she finds synonymous with lazy are careless, unwilling, mindless, uninspired and cowardly.
Okaaaaaaaay. Cowardly? Hey, tell us what you really think.
We would like some clarity. Let’s travel over to the therapist couch at Psychology Today.
Neel Burton M.D. suggests, “A person is being lazy if he is able to carry out some activity that he ought to carry out, but is disinclined to do so because of the effort involved.”
Notice he didn’t say she?
Ah, the clouds part a little. Activity that they ought to carry out.
What ought to means is defined in the eye of the beholder.
Many people may erroneously assume that they should always be going full steam, and chastise themselves for being lazy when their body and mind will not obey in protest.
Western culture often puts a premium on high achieving and hard work. The reality is that everyone needs time to relax and regenerate.
For example, if an adult child moves back into their parent’s home, especially after college for economic reasons, laziness vs contentment appears to be more defined.
If you have a timetable to find work, save some money and eventually get back on your feet, then you better get busy.
Why?
Because if you don’t, and are content to be idle, then you are doing that on someone else’s dime.
As the good Doc above says, you ought to be doing something.
Now, if you are financially stable and decide to take some time off to think, attend a retreat, drive across America or just watch movies, then that could be viewed as being content, with a purpose.
The largest differentiation is that you are being idle on your dime.
This is a situation many young adults find themselves in.
On September 4, 2020, according to pewresearch.org, “In July, 52% of young adults resided with one or both of their parents, up from 47% in February, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of monthly Census Bureau data. The number living with parents grew to 26.6 million.”
See what we mean. Possible bones of contention in the millions. Nice home baked cookies and all.
We turn to film.
The Lifeguard is a 2013 American drama produced, written, and directed by Liz W. Garcia, and starring Kristen Bell and David Lambert.
Here is the storyline.
Leigh London is a talented writer living in New York City with a job as a journalist and a relationship with her engaged boss.
At the beginning of the story, Leigh must accept the end of her love affair and is tasked with reporting the story of a tiger cub who was kept tied up as a pet in someone’s home until it died. To Leigh’s astonishment the piece isn’t run as serious news, and she breaks down, arguing with her boss and ex-lover.
Now entirely disillusioned with her life in the city, she decides to leave, without notifying her employer and returns to her hometown.
When she arrives at home, Leigh’s mother questions her sudden return, meanwhile her father is delighted to see her, especially after Leigh announces her decision to stay indefinitely.
Indefinitely? On her parent’s dime? That comes across as lazy.
Her mother really had a problem with it. So do we.
Leigh does eventually get a job. Hooray, right? Now according to mommy. Why?
Her job is being a lifeguard at the local pool.
Translation?
She’s under employed.
Now again, if she was doing that on her own dime, back in New York, that in our minds is being content. Do that in your parent’s home to supplement your new lifestyle; that could be described as being unambitious and lazy.
You see, when you are content on your own dime, why is it anyone else’s business to tell you how much you should or should not do?
Now remember, that means don’t go begging for a loan or money later from the person who feels you need to be more ambitious. Find funds own your own as well.
The situation gets worse when it comes to light that part of the reason Leigh loves her Lifeguard job is that she met a handsome young teenager and they become romantically involved. Nothing like reliving your teen years again with the guy you couldn’t get in high school.
If the teen was of age, that would be fine and dandy to be content with investing all of that money previously spent on a college education and decide sunning by the pool as a Lifeguard is an indefinite lifestyle you will keep. Oh, by the way, she and a few friends love to smoke some gentle weed too. Quite a bit. Like almost every day.
Sounds like fun.
As long as it is on your dime.
One of the few times we agree with a very mean mommy.
Time to make it more complicated.
What if your spouse, usually a female, feels with your college degree, you should be doing more to find a better job? You feel otherwise.
Questions arise.
Does she make more money than you? Is she paying most of the bills? Do you have children in the home with needs? Most important, did you agree on your level of materialism beforehand with your spouse and now you are unwilling to step up and fully support it?
If you answer yes to the last question, you just might be described as lazy.
Just saying.
We ponder this subject because this does seem to be a bone of contention in many households. If your spouse is trying to force you to keep up with the Joneses lifestyle, that is not on you.
The key is what the two of you agreed upon ahead of time in terms of your lifestyle and especially if it involved the purchasing of a home.
If you agreed ahead of time to the financial responsibilities that your partnership has produced, then you may not have the luxury of being content.
And especially, after college, taking the job of a Lifeguard (weed included) while you have a frustrated wife and a mortgage to pay. Do that?
You might be categorized as lazy.
~ ~ ~
OPENING PHOTO Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com KoolShooters-pexels.com-photo-credit
https://abbymaroko.medium.com/the-difference-between-laziness-and-contentment-a34dbe12c2f5
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201410/the-psychology-laziness
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lifeguard
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
