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October 29, 2021,
Sometimes we would rather not know.
Even if it is the truth.
We prefer that it is left unsaid.
Secrets are kept secret for a reason.
This whole notion that it is always better to know the truth? Maybe eventually, but sometimes not right away.
Do you remember in high school how you fell in love with a certain person? You admired them from afar and hoped that they would notice you. Whatever side of the hallway they walked down, you would rush around the corner to walk in the opposite direction so you could say hi to them. The love interest smiled and said hello back.
Joy.
Then you finally mustered the courage to ask a more courageous friend to ask your amour if they were interested. Your friend reluctantly agreed to do so.
Days passed.
Then a week.
You couldn’t take it anymore and asked what the person had to say.
Your friend replied, “Do you really want to know?”
Good question.
Do you actually really want to know?
You know what? Sometimes it is best that certain things are left secret.
We’ll tread carefully and start at the base of society, the family, and work our way out. Not necessarily up. Sideways, so to speak.
As children we would love to believe that our mature mother and father loved each other and only each other and would stay together into their old age. To some of us, like believing in Santa Claus, that was really important.
Then over time, as your parents begin to argue more, one of them is away from the home quite often and heaven forbid, they don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore.
Do we really want to know that they have agreed to allow one another to sleep with other people but keep the marriage together for the sake of the children?
And money.
You know something is wrong but do you really want to know the details as a child? Some things are best left secret.
In one of our friend’s situation, they knew as a child their parents had issues but they appreciated that the parents kept the secrets hidden and put up a brave face rather than act like children and spill out every deep dark secret at the dinner table.
She knew their family life was an illusion but she preferred to walk side by side with it so that she could enjoy her teenage years in peace and focus on her own challenges. As an adult, after one of the parents passed, most of the secrets finally came out and you know what?
She kind of always suspected what was going on anyway. It wasn’t a big surprise but she was glad that they kept it secret.
Secrecy is the practice of hiding information from certain individuals or groups who you feel do not have the “need to know”, perhaps while sharing it with other individuals.
That which is kept hidden is known as the secret.
The key is you. Some people (hopefully discreet) may be told the secret, others not.
Now as an adult, you enter into the work place and into love relationships yourself.
Are there secrets to be kept? Absolutely. Do you really want to know that Manager A and Manager B hate one another or worse, one of them really hates you?
We know of another situation where a friend who, as a teen, was romantically involved with one of his female relatives. They didn’t go all the way, but pretty close. They kept their relationship secret. Others in the family circle seemed to know that they were attracted to one another but no one dared asked them what was going on.
Once our friend grew to late adulthood and the relatives scattered, he asked his brother, who was in communication with relative B, if he could get relative B’s phone number to say hello. His sibling agreed to do so but like our earlier school example, curiously never got back to him.
Here, if you were our friend would you ask if Relative B gave him the phone number?
Our friend decided not to ask. He didn’t want to hear what he felt he already knew.
Relative B didn’t really like him. Was it a secret? Yes, he was never told that but he could feel it. He also suspected that Relative B knew the real reason why he wanted her phone number. It wasn’t to keep in touch with her at all. They weren’t enemies but they were never close either. She knew his real motives was to eventually get the phone number of Relative A, who he was in love with as a teen.
Relative A is now happily married with grown children, so he could not get her phone number directly, mostly, truthfully, to say thank you and good bye.
Sometimes certain things were better left unsaid.
Did he really want to know what Relative B thought about him? As a teen, even he knew that he thought a lot of himself and was viewed as a womanizer and obnoxious. Yes, he eventually grew out of that behavior and later successfully married himself, but memories do persist.
There is a theory that husbands and wives should be completely honest with each other.
We’re not so sure that is always a wise idea.
We know of another situation where a couple had children and were married for years. When the male lost his job and couldn’t buy the wife a bigger home, he eventually found out the real reason why she married him.
Did he really want to know that?
No. But he needed to know and he was glad that for over 20 years she kept that a secret.
Why do we need our secrets?
In many ways to function on a daily basis. To keep our illusion that life is okay and despite our hardships and challenges, our life is still moving in the right direction.
We need the pretense to keep sacrificing for the bigger picture and hope that those efforts are not in vain.
To feel that the teen in the hallway, the one you are in love with, is secretly in love with you, so you can dream at night and day dream during the sunlight, remains intact as long as how they really feel about you is kept secret.
That you are worth loving.
If Santa Claus is real, then life still possesses magic and that, in the bigger picture, good will always win out over evil because magic comes from the most benevolent powerful entity.
Reality may say differently to us, but to function, strive and dream?
We prefer the truth remains a secret.
~ ~ ~
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrecy
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
