Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com George-Rudy-Shutterstock-photo-credit-Editorial-use-
October 6, 2021,
Haunting is the word that keeps coming to mind when our senses recognize, in a life full of transitions, this could be my last chance.
Part of the greatest challenge in seizing and acting upon opportunities is the importance of taking the time to be cognizant that this could be the last chance.
Examples abound.
A friend in our circle, we’ll call Beth, recognized a last chance and acted upon it, to her relief.
Beth, now in her fifties, is the younger of two children. Her sister was the good kid and Beth was the rebellious one. As a result, she was often at odds with her parents. This rift traveled well into her adult life where, in Beth’s parent’s eyes, she married a person not in their financial and social standing.
Unfortunately her parents took it out on Beth’s children by never seeing them, literally, because they were the off spring of a person, Beth’s husband, they detested.
Beth’s sister made a decision to stay away as well, swelling up resentment in Beth.
As you might guess, Beth’s family were a better judge of character than Beth. Her husband cheated on her, more than once and the marriage eventually crumbled.
Beth, angry at her parents for not spending time with her children virtually never visited them.
Until one of them died.
Now Beth had only one parent left. The surviving parent, her father, was in the early stages of dementia.
In Beth’s mind, he was the most judgmental parent of the two. In family gatherings past, he and Beth were initially cordial when they would first see one another at the social but as you might predict, within an hour they were arguing.
As his dementia deepened, something almost miraculous happened.
He began to be very nice to Beth. He recognized her as his daughter but guess what?
He forget about their contentious past.
Which now raised an extremely important question.
Could Beth forget the pain and anger of the past?
Now it’s up to her.
She made a decision to forget the past.
What contributed to Beth’s decision? She had a volatile relationship with one of her three, now adult, children and recognized that, even with your best efforts as a parent, things can still not go well in your relationship with your children. She was extremely happy that she had close and positive relationships with the other two. Part of the reason was because they appreciated how much Beth was involved in their lives growing up and how she made up for their grandparents not being involved.
For the first time in over a decade, Beth began to travel back to her childhood home to spend time with her father who was receiving 24 hour care.
During that time, she really appreciated being home again and all of her teenage memories, mostly risk taking and exciting, began to flood back to her. To her surprise she really enjoyed hanging out with most of the caregivers involved, who did the hard work (toileting) in her father’s care.
All three of them would hang out, go for walks, get pizza and have fun times.
This was the quiet before the coming sad storm.
The good news is Beth recognized that it was a last chance to enjoy her childhood home and spend time with her remaining parent in a very positive way.
Then that window closed.
She and her sibling reconciled and cooperated with one another to sell the house. Like a coming home film, they had many nice moments talking about the past, complete with previously unknown secrets, revelations and surprises.
Soon, sadly, the house sold.
Beth’s father now resided at an assisted living facility 2 hours away.
It was decision time.
How often would Beth go to visit him? Once a month? Once every six months to make an appearance?
Nope.
She visited every two weeks, making a fairly arduous two hour drive on a two lane highway, and most important, she would show up at about 10am and spend the entire day with him, walking with and feeding him and then rent a hotel at night. She would then wake up early, make the five minute drive back to the facility, spend a few hours more with him, feeding him breakfast and then she would drive home.
This went on for about three years.
Finally Beth’s father passed away, literally, right on Zoom, in front of her eyes.
Literally.
She heard him take his last breath.
In a strange way she was honored that happened. Previously when her relatives passed away, she would attend their funerals but often did not have a chance to say goodbye.
It has been some time since Beth’s father passed away but she is greatly relieved that she recognized her last chances along the way.
The last chance to spend time with her father in their family home.
The last chance to spend quality time with him while he was alive.
In this short life, filled with transitions, especially when it comes to important relationships, do you recognize your last chances?
At certain stages of our lives, we are faced with last chances. Do we take the time to evaluate that this indeed might be a last chance opportunity or do we keep ourselves busy with other things so as to not face up to the potential pain?
One of the most important aspects to recognizing a last chance is to step back and take the time to at least ask yourself that question.
The next is a brief true story as well.
Another friend really enjoyed going to an all you can eat Chinese buffet who employed some really great cooks. It was the type of experience where you allowed yourself to be starving before you walk in, sit down, then relax and eat very slowly, savoring every morsel and then go back for seconds.
Incredibly satisfying.
One day after going to the Post Office, our front stood there and thought, normally I go to this buffet once a month but I’m going to break tradition and go today. You never know when it will be your last chance to go.
She went and had another fantastic meal.
Then guess what happened. It was as though prophecy came true.
Covid-19 hit the world with a furious hammer.
All the restaurants across the city had to shut down.
Some survived.
Her favorite buffet did not.
To this day, they are no longer in business.
She smiles and often reflects upon the importance of taking a moment to smell the flowers, take a look at the complete menu of your life and recognize where and what are your last chance opportunities.
~ ~ ~
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