How We All Have An Impact On Making A More Civil And Beautiful Society

April 9, 2024,

If only things were the way they used to be.

Well, fortunately not all things. But some things that appear to be in small supply.

One of them is civility.

In our daily lives, from how we treat our family members when under stress, driving down the street, competing in business or interacting with our neighbors when there is an issue at hand, it can be said that civility is the lubrication that make virtually all things run smoothly.

Civility’s cousins would be politeness and diplomacy.

Civility may denote orderly behavior and politeness. Historically, civility also meant training in the humanities.

Some experts say civility goes beyond good manners and listening attentively, but includes sharing our own beliefs and values with others through some type of engagement with the intent of sincere respect towards one another.

This also requires a willingness and open mindedness to having our opinions and biases challenged by others who share different and perhaps unique points of view.

There is a belief that our ability to act with civility is connected with our ability to understand our own emotions.

Understanding our feelings helps us to recognize how we are feeling in real-time and give us a greater ability to have empathy for others. Furthermore, discerning and recognizing our feelings can help us to evaluate the things that trigger us emotionally and therefore become more aware of how we will possibly react and feel in certain situations.

By taking the time to understand our thoughts and emotions in these situations, this practice can lead to self-recognition and acceptance of how similar situations may affect others, including those that may share a unique perspective.

Those are some basics.

In simple terms, at least in our experience, why is civility so important?

Civility helps a heavily populated and complex society function more smoothly. It makes our everyday lives run a lot smoother.

It provides a sense that, even if there is a problem, things will eventually work out.

It makes for a safer lifestyle on a broader scale. It gives you more freedom to enjoy things that you could not, in an uncivil society.

We’ll share an example.

We have an associate who traveled to Japan when he was young. Compared to America, where he virtually never goes out at night, he and a friend enjoyed long walks at midnight and taking the Bullet Train for dinners in Osaka and Tokyo without any fear of crime.

None.

That is just one of the beauties of a civilized society.

He also enjoyed riding the trains everywhere without fear of being accosted.

We have another associate who used to live in a small town in the 1960s. Guess what?

No one locked their doors. Ever.

Today, in the same small town, which is now over 100,000 in population, everyone locks their doors and have alarm systems.

Time to walk over to the book store.

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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Hardcover – February 28, 2002

By P. M. Forni (Author)

“Most people would agree that thoughtful behavior and common decency are in short supply, or simply forgotten in hurried lives of emails, cellphones, and multi-tasking. In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well…civilized language, Forni covers topics that include:

* Think Twice Before Asking Favors
* Give Constructive Criticism
* Refrain from Idle Complaints
* Respect Others’ Opinions
* Don’t Shift Responsibility and Blame
* Care for Your Guests
* Accept and Give Praise

Finally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding.

Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion.”

Well said.

Civil and polite behavior makes for better life memories. Mistakes and misunderstandings will happen. We can’t avoid that. How we respond to them is something that we can control. Especially if we use self-control and think before we act or speak.

We’ve been to the bookstore, so now, let’s walk over to the movie theater.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is a 2019 American biographical drama film on the TV presenter Fred Rogers, directed by Marielle Heller and written by Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster, inspired by the 1998 article “Can You Say … Hero?” by Tom Junod, published in Esquire.

It stars Tom Hanks, Matthew Rhys, Susan Kelechi Watson, and Chris Cooper.

It depicts Lloyd Vogel (Rhys), a troubled journalist for Esquire who is assigned to profile television icon Fred Rogers (Hanks).

Here is the storyline.

In 1998, at the beginning of an episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, Mr. Rogers displays a picture board with five doors. Three of the doors are opened to reveal the familiar faces of Lady Aberlin, King Friday, and Mr. McFeely. The fourth door is opened to reveal the face of Mr. Rogers’ troubled new friend, Lloyd Vogel, who has a black eye and a cut near his nose. Mr. Rogers explains that Lloyd has been hurt (and not necessarily on his face), and he is struggling to forgive the one who hurt him. After explaining what forgiveness means, Mr. Rogers leaves to visit Lloyd.

The two go a journey together that makes Mr. Vogel a believer.

Civility and kindness can be very powerful.

The film premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on September 7, 2019, and was theatrically released in the United States on November 22, 2019, by Sony Pictures Releasing. It grossed $68 million worldwide. Critics praised Hanks and Rhys’s performances, Heller’s direction, and its heart-warming messages. It was chosen by Time magazine as one of the ten best films of the year.

Outstanding.

Is living in a civilized world, especially in today’s world, a fantasy? An illusion?

On a wide scale basis perhaps, especially when it comes to things that you can’t control.

But perhaps, we should all focus on the things that we can control.

One step at a time.

One friend at a time.

One family member at a time.

One neighbor at a time.