February 7, 2020,
We all have our vision of life as we hope it should be.
As we desire and want it to be.
Then there is the reality of what it actually is, which we sometimes have a hard time seeing with reality colored glasses instead of the rose colored ones.
With planning, dedication and sacrifice we can inch closer and closer to our dream life. Even achieve it. Usually temporarily.
Why temporarily? Please remember what Mr. Robert Burns cautioned us about with his famous quote.
Robert Burns (25 January 1759 – 21 July 1796), was a Scottish poet and lyricist.
He is widely regarded as the national poet of Scotland and is celebrated worldwide. He is regarded as a pioneer of the Romantic movement, and after his death he became a great source of inspiration to the founders of both liberalism and socialism, and a cultural icon in Scotland and among the Scottish diaspora around the world.
He is quoted as wisely expressing, “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
Boy, do they. Especially when we have those rose colored glasses on.
You can plan and execute all that you want and then, through no fault of your own, a job loss occurs, a major illness strikes, a mate suddenly leaves you, the financial market that you have heavily invested in changes for the worst and perhaps you can add a few more scenarios.
All said and done, life happens.
Stuff happens. All of the time.
Events that you never remotely expected.
When they do occur, what should you do?
Lower your expectations? No.
Lower your standards? No.
How about making adjustments.
The power of adjustments is, if they are done well, the unexpected life set back can be temporary.
Please remember, as the Oxford Dictionary helps us to do. An adjustment is a small alteration or movement made to achieve a desired fit, appearance or result.
The operative word here is small.
Okay, sometimes medium.
Hopefully not large.
But it must be done if you are going to get back on the pathway to your desired destination that inches you closer to the perfect life you dreamed of.
A show that epitomizes that well is the captivating reality television show Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. From the outside looking in, if there was ever a team of people who have inched closer to an incredible life, it is this group of elite real estate agents.
Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles is an American reality television series on Bravo that debuted on August 29, 2006.
The series chronicles the professional and personal lives of four real estate agents based in Beverly Hills, Hollywood, and Malibu, California as they sell high-end properties. It also gives viewers an inside look at the world of high-priced real estate in Los Angeles County.
The series’ success has resulted in three spin-offs, including Million Dollar Listing New York, Miami, and San Francisco.
Here is the shows description from their home at Bravo TV, “Bravo Media’s favorite LA agents Josh Flagg, Josh Altman, Tracy Tutor, James Harris and David Parnes continue to navigate huge deals, huge homes and huge egos in Season 11 of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. From listing the estate of NFL star Antonio Pierce to selling a home to Grammy Award-winning superstar Kelly Rowland, the agents are pulling out all the stops to close the biggest deals of their careers with some of the biggest names in the business.”
We watched the Los Angeles version.
Among many things, what struck us the most is how the agents start out with one plan and then life happens, sometimes in huge ways and they must adjust their original mind set to make a closing deal.
It is fascinating to watch this real life process unfold.
The misconception might be that they are simply great sales people, which they are, possibly in the right game at the right time, which seems true, but there is far more to their skillsets.
They are incredibly adept at watching Plan A disintegrate and then they quickly strategize and come up with Plan B, C and often D with great success.
Let’s clarify something.
This discussion is not about materialism but in all fairness, much of what we most want in the West is an incredible home with a view to entertain our friends, bolster our self-worth and esteem while raising our family in it.
Whether that is deep or spiritual is not the question. We sense that it is not. But if that is important to the person involved, then that is what matters.
Given what is happening to real estate prices in certain markets, primarily the ones spoken about above, perhaps reality has been forced upon us.
The question becomes how do we adjust so that we can come closer to attaining what we want?
“I always try to adjust to the situation.”… Novak Djokovic
Pause you say? Change the subject because a big home is not a source of happiness.
Okay fine.
It could be about your health, your once sensational relationship that has now collapsed or your lovable pet that has passed away.
We all need to adjust.
As quoted at Psychology Today, Psychologist Elliot Jaques coined the term “midlife crisis” in a 1965 article, referring to a time when adults reckon with their mortality and their sense of a dwindling number of remaining years of productive life.
They add, “Midlife is the central period of a person’s life, spanning from approximately age 40 to age 65. It can be a stressful time, as many people come to feel discontented and restless as they struggle with aging, mortality, and holding onto a sense of purpose.”
Adjustments appears to be about changing or altering your original expectations. Altering you dreams.
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”… Confucius
View your disappointment as temporary. View the alterations and changing of your initial expectations as stepping stones to getting back to where you want to be or achieving what you hope to.
Our point is, and it is just a suggestion, don’t see these changes and adjustments as permanent.
See them as stepping stones.
The caution with lowering expectations is that you no longer push yourself as far as you can go. You might stop considering all of the options that might be available to you that you haven’t even thought of yet.
Confer with others who have had disappointments but bounced back.
Please stay away from people who encourage you to permanently accept your setback. That thinking is more about them. You don’t want to be them.
Above all, don’t give up on your original dream be it in regards to love, career, spiritual enlightenment or buying that dream home in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Miami or New York.
This life is a short one.
You had your original hopes, dreams and expectations for a reason.
A very good one. Shallow or deep. That is always in the eye of the beholder often laced with hypocrisy.
Please don’t diminish that.
Just adjust.
The adjustment is temporary.
When is it not temporary?
If it works. That’s the whole idea about adjusting isn’t it?
It just might work.
It just might be permanent.
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Opening photo
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/adjust-quotes
https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/best-laid-plans.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Burns
https://www.bravotv.com/million-dollar-listing-los-angeles
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Million_Dollar_Listing_Los_Angeles