Rejected In Love? Four Films, Two Important Life Lessons

The thing is, so many songs from the 1960’s were penned, not for money but due to personal pain and experience.

Who can say they didn’t feel Aretha Franklin’s emotions when she penetratingly sang, “Ain’t No Way” (for me to love you, if you won’t let me).

How about the silky smooth, soulful voice of Timi Yuro with “Hurt”.

Sam Cooke thoroughly broke our hearts with “A Change Is Going To Come”.

The list could go on but the one that really did it for me was Sue Thompson’s “What’s Wrong Bill?”

You see, her parents bought her a brand new evening dress for tonight, but now Bill is calling to say that he can’t make it.

What’s wrong Bill? Can’t you get the car Bill? It’s really not that far Bill? Oh I love you so.

Heartbroken, Sue’s father is even willing to lend them his car. Sue is even willing to lend him money. Then she says what she has most likely dreaded for some time.

“Oh I pray and hope Bill, you haven’t found somebody new.”

That is the power of attraction.

And rejection.

Bill’s not coming. Not tonight or any other night for that matter.

In terms of rejection, we all face it at some point in our life. Especially if you are willing to take risks and try and live life to the full.

Cloris Kylie possesses a Marketing MBA. She helps entrepreneurs to attract the right clients so that they skyrocket their impact and revenue. A sought-after speaker, trainer, and author, Cloris has been featured on various television and radio shows, including the #1 podcast for entrepreneurs, “Entrepreneur On Fire.”

In terms of rejection she was quoted as expressing, “A recent social research study shows that the same regions of the brain that become active during painful sensory experiences are also activated when we experience social rejection.”

In a July 10, 2013 article in Psychology Today, they educate, “fMRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically speaking).”

Very enlightening.

Social rejection is one thing. Business rejection is another. But love rejection has to be the worst.

Wouldn’t you agree?

As the previous legendary singer’s melodies have taught us, virtually all of us will face love rejection, but what is the most important question to ask ourselves when it happens?

How will we respond to it?

Let’s face it, while there may be no universally patented way to respond to love rejection, there clearly are some ways that are more effective and healthy for us than others.

We began this discussion with song so let’s stay in the world of art and continue it through film.

Right off the bat, we are going to eliminate the theatrical and extreme stalker responses to rejection that proliferate in B movies where it all becomes so predictable like with the gorgeous teen Alicia Silverstone portrayed in the cult classic “The Crush” where she gets rejected by an older writer and goes stellar psycho in response.

**fciwomenswrestling.com article, warner brothers photo credit**

Those movies all seem to play out the same.

First there is a mutual friendship and attraction. Sometimes even a one night stand of carnal animalistic love making where they are slamming each other into walls while ripping their clothes off.

Then Person B wants to develop the relationship further but Person A doesn’t want to because half the time in those movies Person A is already engaged or married but just wanted one last fling before mortgage strangulation.

Now rejected, Person B very effectively starts making Person A’s life completely miserable and is so clever and astute that the police can’t do anything about it.

Along the way, well-meaning friends with great but ineffective advice get involved and wind up dead in very creative and horrifying ways.

Finally Person A gets some prehistoric backbone and permanently puts an end to Person B by killing them.

It can be in the bath tub like in “Fatal Attraction”, or gun shots at close range where they utter some catchy phrase like “You’re terminated!” or the one I like the most is when Person B is launched out of a window from high places, hits the ground with a thud and as their fluids are leaking out, looks up at the camera with a pathetic expression of surprise and their lips gently part as if to whisper.

The detective who just rushed to the scene notices that Person B is trying to whisper their last words and screams at the beat cop, “Hey Charlie (beat cops are always named Charlie), keep it down over there, I think he (she) is trying to say something!”

The detective leans closer to Person B’s lips.

Closer.

Then Person B utters their last breath, question form, in a very soft whisper, “Do you think I could have handled this better?”

The end.

Mercifully.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes like grabbing some fast food, a predictable rejection movie temporarily hits the spot especially if the actors are really good looking or popular but you certainly don’t want a steady diet of it.

We feel that you learn the most from rejection tales on the celluloid that are very unpredictable and feel very real.

As we sit back in the reviewer’s chair, the focus will be on Person B’s reaction to rejection and what we learn from it.

A SUMMER STORY

If watching this film doesn’t make your eyes go moist, we don’t know what will.

A Summer Story is a British drama film released in 1988. Directed by Piers Haggard, with a script written by Penelope Mortimer. It stars James Wilby, Imogen Stubbs, and Susannah York.

Here is the storyline.

In 1904, a young gentleman visiting a rural area has an intense love affair with a village girl. Eighteen years later, he is passing that way again.

In the summer of 1904 Frank Ashton, an educated young man from London, is on a walking holiday in Devon with a friend. When he falls and twists his ankle, Ashton is helped at a nearby farmhouse and stays there for a few days to recover, while his friend goes on.

Ashton quickly falls for the village girl who looks after him, Megan David, and she falls deeply in love with him.

**fciwomenswrestling.com article, TM and copyright ©Warner Brothers. All rights reserved Editorial use**

Ashton and Megan spend a night together, and after that he takes the train to a seaside town to cash a check at a bank, promising to return the next morning and whisk Megan away with him and marry her.

She waits for him at the agreed upon spot on the hill but he never shows.

Life got in the way. Possibly fate.

Or do you make your own fate?

In terms of rejection, here was our take on it.

Ashton had a very important decision to make that took courage.

Despite his pedigree or that he was an amateur boxing champion in elite British society, the quality that he seemed to lack most, among integrity and honor was courage.

We first see this as Ashton has been staying at the farmhouse as a guest far longer than he should. The ankle injury is long healed up so obviously he is not staying there for that reason.

He’s staying because he has fallen in love with Megan.

Megan, who was previously expected to marry manly Joe, a sturdy farm hand who stinks of pig booty, belches and farts, is clearly in love with Megan as well.

Her betrothed Joe is right out of an Irish Spring soap commercial with one minor variation.

The box remains unopened. Permanently.

Okay we apologize for embellishing. He doesn’t belch or fart in front of us (probably in front of Megan) but Megan does remind him that he stinks and pushes his face away.

Twice.

One evening they are all sitting in the eating room when Joe confronts Megan about her now distancing behavior in front of the group.

The gig is up and everyone knows that Mr. Aston and Megan have a thing for one another in a very bad way.

At this point Mr. Ashton could politely take a stand and say that he thinks its Megan’s decision to make and unfortunately these things happen but he has fallen for her and plans to marry her.

Ashton does no such thing and instead leaves Megan to fend for herself as he excuses himself.

That is a very bad sign.

Thus in terms of that important date where they are to meet up and have him take Megan away to his aristocratic world and be a person with backbone knowing that he will face severe ridicule and possible loss of business as an attorney for having this peasant girl as his wife.

Once he reaches a seaside resort town to obtain more money to take Megan with him, he now is engulfed in his aristocratic world and all that goes with it.

He meets people of his class distinction and begins to rethink things.

He never shows up to meet Megan.

This is not a movie review. We already know the film is exceptional.

The key here is about handling rejection.

If you are Megan, how do you handle it?

She doesn’t handle it well and is devastated and emotionally destroyed.

The question is not how should Megan handle it? We are not Megan and we could theorize how we would respond all we want but that is irrelevant since we are not her.

We simply want to learn from Megan’s response.

Having been stood up, undaunted Megan travels miles into town to look for him. What is so telling as Megan is walking among the aristocrats is how she truly does stands out among them as from a very different class.

Ashton has one more chance to be with Megan as he sees her walking up a hill and as she turns back, she thinks that she sees him but it is not to be because Ashton hides behind a building.

Demoralized and defeated, the beautiful fresh faced young girl returns to the farm.

She was so overwhelmed with grief that she passes away in child birth with Ashton’s baby.

Give Imogen Stubbs massive credit.

She plays Megan as the sweet, pure hearted country girl to perfection.

You could feel her pain of rejection in the depths of your heart.

While it lasts, the movie can be seen on YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okCXu5XcYcQ

THE HEIRESS

The time period is 1880.

Where do you look for life affirmation as a young woman ready to announce yourself to the world when your own father makes it clear to you that you are limited and undesirable?

You look outside of your circle for someone to deeply love you to make up for all of those who did not.

“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.”…Harvey Mackay

The Heiress is a 1949 American drama film directed by William Wyler and starring Olivia de Havilland as Catherine Sloper, Montgomery Clift as Morris Townsend, and Ralph Richardson as Dr. Sloper.

The timeless movie is about a young naive woman who falls in love with a stylish, fit and handsome young man, despite the objections of her emotionally abusive father who suspects the man of being a fortune hunter.

In a brutal scene, her father makes that crystal clear as he emphasizes that the only real positive attribute that she has is her money. She has nothing else.

Is Morris a fortune hunter?

Let’s just he hasn’t met an inheritance that he hasn’t squandered living a life of leisure and pleasure.

If Morris was to have a life theme song, the classic folk tune that seems to best describe him is the legendary singer Danny O’Keefe’s emotional and masterful hit, “Good Time Charlie’s Got the Blues”.

With a major alteration.

What shall we rename it in Morris honor?

How about Good Time Charlie’s On A Cruise?

We all know Good Time Charlies in our lives, and let’s face it, they are a lot of fun.

Girls love them because they never put any pressure on them or try and control them due to the fact they really don’t want anything important from the beauties except for, well, a good time.

The group loves Charlie because he is easy going and is the life of the party.

The challenge with Charlie is that he never wants to grow up, become an adult and take responsibility for his life and others.

So in Mr. O’Keefe’s opening stanza, the lyrics are very sad and wrenching?

Why?

Because everybody’s gone away.

And why have they gone away?

Its call growing up, developing important relationships, getting married, getting a job that can pay for a mortgage, having children and then later grandchildren.

At what age do you realize that having frat parties and wild sex is not the most important thing in the world?

Please don’t ask Charlie that question.

Though Morris is not a party animal, still he’s a pretty close 1880’s version of Charlie.

So when he meets Catherine you can almost see his pupils turn into dollar signs, because after all, what is the title of the movie?

As you watch the early parts of the film, you have to be careful in your judgements because he truly does seem to have affection for Catherine as opposed to the young strong willed and very wealthy Matilda who symbolically lives down the street.

Why the difference?

Catherine is very submissive to him and he can direct and influence her.

I wanted to say manipulate, but then again, let’s not be too judgmental.

Daddy of course hates him and plans to put him through several tests which Morris passes with flying colors.

Then Catherine makes the biggest mistake of her life.

Now that she has found someone to love her, in the way that no one else had before, she starts gaining confidence and a willingness to stand up to her father.

After years of his not so subtle insults, Catherine makes it clear that she doesn’t need to wait around for her inheritance because she hopes that she will never have to look into his face of contempt ever again.

So stated another way, she’s not broke, she has a steady flow of money but let’s say that while she could have had a massive amount of money to give Morris, now it’s down to salary and budget proportions.

Morris doesn’t know this.

Thus, just as in A Summer’s Story, the two young lovers plot to elope and run away, set a time and meeting place but then Catherine slips and lets him know that she never wants to see her father again and they’ll live on the fumes of love and some spare change.

Oops.

When the time comes to meet, like Megan, Catherine is super excited, has her bags packed and just as Megan looked around the farm for the last time, filled with melancholy, Catherine looks around her elegant settings for the last time and goes to the patio to wait for Morris.

Will Charlie, I mean Morris show up?

What do you think?

As each carriage comes rushing by, Catherine excitedly leaps to her feet and grabs her things only to see the coach pass her by, just as life was slowly doing.

Finally it sets in that Morris is not coming and Catherine screams in a feminine high pitched wail, “Moooooris! Mooooooris!” and breaks down and weeps bitterly.

Tough story for sure.

In terms of rejection how does Catherine handle it?

She does eventually inherit her father’s money but in a powerful scene, as her father’s health is in decline, she lets her father know in no uncertain terms exactly what she thinks of him.

Now words to the effect, he exclaims, “So you have finally found your tongue at last, only to say such terrible things to me.”

She powerfully responds, “Yes in this way you can no longer compare me to my mother.”

Boy was she sick and tired of her father’s comparisons and longing for her deceased vibrant and sparkling mother compared to her, the dullard.

So Catherine evolves into a strong, untrusting and bitter woman.

**fciwomenswrestling.com article, paramount pictures photo credit**

Even when her servant pays her a compliment about her dress, Catherine suspects false praise but her servant reassures her it was honest.

Rejection changed Catherine forever.

In 1996, The Heiress was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”.

Respire (also known as Breathe)

If you are a teen and a gorgeous new girl begins waitressing for the first time at your favorite restaurant, moves into the house next door or stars in your favorite love crush television series, they can become the object of your desire.

Please don’t get too excited.

In terms of forming a relationship there are barriers of formality, even when they move next door, (parents).

But when the gorgeous new beauty not only is a student at your school, is in your class and (it gets even better) sits down right next to you, now all of that formality goes right out the window.

Instant access.

Now your strong desire can evolve into something far more emotional and personal.

It can turn into an obsession.

**fciwomenswrestling.com article, Gaumont photo credit (Sarah -left, Charlie – right)**

Respire, also known as Breathe, is a 2014 French drama film based on the novel of the same name by Anne-Sophie Brasme. The film was directed by Mélanie Laurent and stars Joséphine Japy, Lou de Laâge, Isabelle Carré and Claire Keim.

Charlie (Joséphine Japy) is a teenage high school student whose parents are breaking up. At school she is assigned to take care of new student Sarah (Lou de Laâge) who has recently moved from Nigeria, where her mother works, to live with her aunt.

The two quickly become inseparable.

The tone of the film is set right from the start.

Stephen Holden, the exceptional writer and reviewer at nytimes.com shares, “It begins on a warning note, with a scene in a high school class whose teacher observes, “Passion is harmful when it becomes obsessive, which is most of the time.”

Sarah is the gorgeous sandy blonde haired girl that every boy could fall in love with.

Possibly girls too.

She’s beautiful, shapely, witty, gregarious, engaging and spontaneous while she makes you feel as though you’re the only person in the room.

Sarah is a Good Time Charlene who can speak French.

She’s never met a party she doesn’t love or a bed that she wouldn’t love to share with a sexy guy, even if he’s supposed to be someone else’s love interest.

Charlie on the other hand should change names with Sarah.

She not Good Time Charlie. She’s just got the blues.

All the time.

So when bombastic Sarah sits next to the elegant and understated Charlie, the emotional sparks begin to fly.

Inseparable they become until Charlie makes one slip of the tongue and she begins to see another side of Sarah’s personality.

At the respected reviewer site rogerebert.com they observe, “Teenage girls yearn to connect. It’s an impulse that is so strong that if one is left outside the charmed circle of belonging the whole world can fall apart. It’s like being banished from a very powerful cult.”

Once Charlie exposes Sarah as a liar, the relationship quickly deteriorates.

Here’s a hint as to why.

Sarah’s mother has never been to Nigeria. In reality she’s an abusive alcoholic living in a small apartment in a rough neighborhood.

Sarah goes on the attack and paints the virginal Charlie as a whore, makes her the butt of jokes in front of the group and essentially pushes Charlie from a gaggle of friends that we’re originally hers.

The puzzling part, not only to us as viewers but also to Charlie’s friends, is that she doesn’t fight back after getting continually embarrassed and emotionally pummeled by Sarah.

There appears to be two reasons as to why.

The first is that she has become obsessed with Sarah. Is she madly in love with her or like the Yen and Yang desperately yearns for Sarah’s dynamic personality to balance out her quietly serious one or both.

The other reason, which may have been immediately obvious to some, but took me some time to discern is that Charlie had become her mother.

Her mother is a woman whose husband is cheating on her, emotionally belittles her, comes and goes as he pleases and her response to that behavior is to cry endlessly, be a victim and passionately make love with him at his whim, all while Charlie is watching and listening.

So now when Sarah rejects Charlie how does she react?

She cries endlessly, becomes a victim and takes Sarah back as a friend with complete forgiveness anytime that Sarah wants her to.

Afterwards Sarah dumps her of course.

Rejection had a disturbing way of revealing the still waters that lay beneath in Charlie’s seemingly mature, quiet and intelligent personality, and if there is no intervention, a glimpse into Charlie’s future as an emotional punching bag for those she desires with strong and selfish personalities.

JORDIE FALLS IN LOVE – STAR TREK

Wesley Crusher is a fictional character in the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation, appearing regularly in the first four seasons and sporadically afterward.

On the show he is the son of Dr. Beverly Crusher and is portrayed by actor Wil Wheaton.

Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge who appeared in all seven seasons is portrayed by LeVar Burton, who served as helmsman of the USS Enterprise-D in the first season, then occupied the role of the chief engineer for the rest of the series and in the films.

Since Geordi is such a nice guy, we’ll be on a first name basis.

Wesley and Geordi are good friends too and as with all friendships, sometimes there is a small disagreement and things are said that shouldn’t be.

One of the responses to an argument that stood out the most was when Wesley exclaimed that at least he didn’t have to get his women off of the Holodec.

Ouch in stinging hologram particles.

The Holodeck is depicted as an enclosed room in which objects and people are simulated by a combination of matter, beams and fields onto which holographic images are projected, which appear solid to the touch.

It is the ultimate “block out the rest of the world” room where your dreams can come true on your weekend breaks and vacations.

Once in there, it is as though the outside world doesn’t exist and the technology is so advanced that everything feels very real.

As important, it can also be a tremendous help in simulating situations to help solve the endless problems that confront the crew.

“Booby Trap” is the sixth episode of the third season.

In this episode, the Enterprise discovers a derelict centuries-old alien battle cruiser and becomes trapped along with it.

Geordi realizes that the only way to restore power is to reconfigure the warp drive and traces the warp drive’s design back to the Enterprise’s construction and blueprints created by Dr. Leah Brahms.

He then enters the ship’s holodeck to help figure through the engine reconfiguration, whereupon the computer takes an off the cuff remark by Geordi literally and creates a holographic representation of Dr. Brahms herself to assist him in his work.

**fciwomenswrestling.com article, paramount studios photo credit**

As Geordi’s work progresses, he asks the computer to update the hologram with Dr. Brahms’ personality profile, and slowly gains romantic feelings for her.

After power is restored, the simulated Dr. Brahms recognizes a solution which is to allow the computer to take control of the ship, allowing it to make rapid adjustments to compensate for the trap.

The two collaborated together and even shared an intimate kiss when it was done.

Sweet celebration. Sounds like a great title for a love song.

Score one for Geordi.

The other wonderful aspect of the Holodeck is that you can fall deeply in love with someone and they will never reject you.

So, given the dynamics of that fantastic episode you just knew in the back of your mind and hoped that Geordi would conjure Leah up again for another fantasy.

Well, be careful what you wish for.

So yes, Geordi will see Leah again and as Special Ed of Crank Yankers would say, “Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!”

Oh by the way. There will be one little problem.

This Leah will not be a computer simulation.

“Galaxy’s Child” is the 90th episode.

Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge is thrilled when Dr. Leah Brahms comes aboard the Enterprise.

Unfortunately, Dr. Brahms is nothing like the idealized holographic version that our Chief Engineer fell for a year earlier. She’s cold, distant and humorless.

While I wouldn’t say that she doesn’t like Geordi, because after all she doesn’t know him, but she does seem to lack respect for him.

Despite all of this, Geordi is still super excited and is thrilled to work with her. He even invites her back to his room for dinner to collaborate (we’re all professionals here at Star Fleet) of course on this important project.

Leah agrees to come and Geordi has studied her to the hilt, knowing what foods she likes and more, so much so that Leah briefly starts to relax and even opens up to him over dinner.

Then Geordi makes the mistake of dimming the lights and putting on soft music and predictably Leah returns to cold witch mode and let’s Geordi know that she’s not comfortable with the situation and promptly leaves, leaving Geordi in pieces.

Why is she not responding to Geordi’s advances?

Many reasons, but most likely the main one?

She’s already married.

So, this is not a review of the episode right?

This is about handling rejection.

How does Geordi handle the rejection?

As usual there is another life threatening situation confronting the Enterprise……again.

Only Geordi and Leah can solve it and they do.

Kudos to them.

Later they have a final drink together in Ten Forward; the bar, lounge and restaurant with a wonderful view of the stars, where the greatest and most brilliant minds in the galaxy can dine, drink, flirt, pontificate and socialize.

Sitting at the table, though the lines have been drawn, Leah and Geordi clearly like each other and I’m going to go out on a limb and say Leah is even a little attracted to him.

I’ll go even further to say that she respects him as well.

Why?

It’s because how Geordi handled the rejection.

REJECTION ANALYSIS

While we understand that there is no magic pill to take that will help us handle any and all rejection with flying colors, still there are some palatable tablets that we can consume from the previous tales that can help us to digest it a little more smoothly.

Charlie in the film Breathe seemed to handle it the absolute worst.

But why?

At Femcompetitor Magazine, we could cite a number of experts but hopefully one of the attractions to our publications is that since we have a strong collective experience, though we are not experts, at times we share our personal experiences that we hope are helpful.

We’ll do that now.

There are two major factors that have helped us handle rejection better.

One of the most important factors that will help you bounce back from rejection is that you should be passionate and driven about something in your own life.

In Charlie’s case, she really had nothing much going on.

She wasn’t a star gymnast, actress in the high school acting club, dynamic blogger with a ton of followers or anything else for that matter.

The lack of those passionate activities made her cling to whatever Sarah was energizing her way. Once Sarah withdrew that energy, there was this massive void and Charlie was desperate to refill it.

Had she developed her own passions she eventually would become too busy to keep obsessing with Sarah and move on.

In the cases of Catherine in The Heiress and Megan in A Summer Story, in an odd way, it was the time period and lack of rights for women that did them in.

Unlike the massive opportunities that Charlie had in front of her, Catherine and Megan did not remotely have those options.

Megan’s primary options were to live, serve and die on that farm and in her small community if she wanted to survive. It wasn’t like she could save money, leave for London and become a Clothing Designer.

So when Ashton rejected her, he also closed the passenger door on the train from her world into his.

She was poor.

She was finished.

Oddly enough in Catherine’s situation, though she is part of a very wealthy family, as a young woman and more important, a daughter without a suitor, she too was stuck as daddy’s little girl and emotional punching bag.

The only opportunity that she had to leave was with Morris, but make no mistake about it, without that inheritance their lives financially were going to become very pedestrian.

Like Megan, Catherine was trapped in a closing casket too except hers was lined with gold.

So of all of the stories, Geordi’s response was the best.

Why?

Geordi had a passionate option.

He loved his career, he had great friends and he was on the flagship of Star Fleet’s armada.

Once he was rejected by Leah, though hurt, he got back to the basics and dealt with her in a strictly professional way. Not having a bad report return to Captain Picard was a far higher priority than continuing to pursue Leah after she informed him that she was married.

Once Leah left, within weeks Geordi would have his sleeves rolled up into the next crisis while having the attention of another young beautiful cadet who wanted to learn from the master Star Trek problem solver.

Because Geordi had a passionate pathway in his life, Leah would soon be a distant memory.

Which now brings us to component number two.

Geordi returned to the foundation of why he and Leah were together in the first place.

Their professions.

Please remember this second aspect.

Once you (we) are rejected, the first thing is to ask yourself as Person B, why did you and Person A meet in the first place?

Most likely it was through a friend, at work, at school or someplace of a common interest.

So if you met Person A at work, like Geordi did, be polite and professional with Person A and deal with them on a work basis only.

Take their rejection at face value and let it go.

The primary reason you are in that workplace is to do your job. If you didn’t have that job, you most likely would have never met Person A and even if you did meet them somewhere else, what is that glue that would have held you two together?

There is none.

In Charlie’s experience with Sarah, their connection was school. After being rejected, Charlie should have been polite with Sarah but remind herself that the only reason that she met Sarah was through school. Her role is to be a student first and let the rest go.

Easier said than done but we believe valid.

We will now turn into the first person as I share my experiences as a Femcompetitor Magazine Writer.

Is it possible that when I cover events or interview these gorgeous Fetish Models and Session Girls that I develop feelings for them and heaven forbid, even fall in love with some of them?

Of course.

To write some of the in depth articles like I do, like an Undercover Cop, I have to go under.

For example. When I wrote the article about the shapely, feminine UK Wrestler Vixen who has long been retired, I had to meditate on how I felt when I used to watch her try her best but get completely dominated.

Festelle’s Vixen, A Wrestler Full Of Adventure

She really turned me on.

If you re-read the ending of Vixen’s article, like Sue Thompson and Aretha’s songs, you can’t fake that. You have to feel it.

At the end of Vixen’s article I deeply fantasized about our possible divide.

I’m from organized religion, raised a Southern Baptist and lived in a very button down world physically and more important, emotionally.

Vixen is a free spirit with piercings all over her back and sometimes wrestles with her clothes off and yet if we met, at least for me, I would have been extremely drawn to her.

Then in our fantasy movie instead of setting an appointment time and location to meet, like in The Heiress and A Summer Story, which never works, I would press her buttons.

There is too much time in between for fate and common sense to destroy that.

Me to Vixen?

We need to go right now. Just drop everything. Let’s go right now and never look back.

When I wrote the emotional piece about Scarlett Devine, after exchanging emails with her, I had enough information to “go under”.

Way under.

I wanted to write an article about her like I had fallen in love with her.

Scarlett Devine, Wrestler, Savvy Life Participant Maximus

And you want to know something?

I did.

Temporarily.

Scarlett, from a distance, is virtually everything that I love in a woman.

She’s beautiful, elegant, is extremely intelligent, is a risk taker and like Vixen is very feminine and clearly has a wild side to her and is nice and juicy in all of the right places.

Though she didn’t mention it to me, my research indicates that she even produced a feature film entitled The Sessionist.

After the article published, she and I never communicated again.

It’s easy to read too much into that but one of any girl’s concerns might be that I had gone too far and had developed feelings for her.

Some of that was actually true.

My training though prevents me from going over the edge.

I’ve walked in many worlds and as a former leader in organized religion and the elite high school sports world, one thing that you learn is to become very emotionally detached in your decision making.

So my heart was deeply into the story but my head kept reminding me, that like Geordi, I had temporarily fallen in love with a Holodec version of Scarlett Devine.

Who Scarlett Devine is in real life?

I have absolutely no idea.

I remember when I wrote the article about the porcelain UK beauty Inferno, I did briefly communicate with her, liked her and went under again.

Inferno – A Beautiful UK Wrestler With Ivory Smooth Sex Appeal

I would later check her Social Media and her friend commented about the randomness of the travel aspect of the article but then later expressed, words to the effect, I think he is in love with you.

Very good observation.

I was. Temporarily.

So distance has always been my safety net.

Once the fumes of the article wore off, I could return to my passionate life and work.

Then something happened that caught me off guard and I must at admit, scared me a little.

I was invited to cover a female submission wrestling event and was looking forward to meeting a Session Girl that I’ll call Vanity.

She was shapely, feminine, full of life and very beautiful.

When we met in a vibrant large American city, we instantly hit it off as I was obviously paying more attention to her than anyone else.

Later, a group of us would go out to dinner at a fantastic Japanese restaurant and while we were standing in line to get in, I let her know that we had written about her so she looked the article up on her phone and we laughed and talked about that.

I’m quietly thinking that Vanity was better than advertised.

When we were seated, I sat across from her and every time she laughed or spoke with someone else, I couldn’t believe how much I loved the sound of her voice.

Then it hit me and I became terrified.

I was falling in love with Vanity.

And here’s the deal. Once you start falling in love, you’re stuck. You can’t pull in and out at will.

What was the difference between Vixen, Scarlett and Inferno vs Vanity?

I never met the other three beauties in person.

That was my mistake with Vanity.

To write about her, I went under, but too soon after the experience I was face to face with her.

I was crazy about her.

So we continued to get along and it was only natural that I would ask to have a session with her.

When we sat on the couch and privately spoke, my emotions started to get the best of me and I let her know that I wanted to hold her and began to speak of my fantasy which was a marriage scenario right out of the Holodeck.

She would be my wife, we have two children and I’ve just come home from work and I want to relax, go into our bedroom, lay on the bed and hold each other in our under wear and talk about the day and how our children are doing.

I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her big shapely butt.

Well she stopped me there and began to explain how she didn’t like being touched and so forth.

Back to reality.

As I was in a work environment I politely said okay and like Geordi I was disappointed but not devastated.

I absolutely did not want a bad report to get back to the event owner.

Later, while I was sitting, she came over to me, let me know that she was sorry that I couldn’t have my full fantasy but I can at least have this, and she shook her shapely booty in my face.

That really pissed me off.

I didn’t say anything but thought, she’s supposed to be a pro. Almost like a therapist.

That’s why it’s called a session. Get it?

Very childish.

Someone opens up to her and she makes fun of them? How immature and amateurish.

Okay, Geordi style, I’ll know how to deal with that, complete with Holodeck spices and mustard.

Dear Class?

Yes you.

For repetition what did I have going for me? I had a career that I loved passionately and I met Vanity in a work environment so like Geordi with Leah, I will keep things polite and professional.

At the event, after each match, the female wrestlers would get interviewed about the fight. I had interviewed Vanity before but after her next match, I went over to the other interviewer and asked him to interview her.

I made a decision not to interview her again. Also when we walked past one another I would be polite, say hello and keep moving.

Simply stated, I stopped fawning over her and that void definitely got her attention.

Who did I learn this technique from when the Person A’s of the world rejected me?

Many moons ago when I was a teen and worked at Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlor at the Serramonte Mall in Daly City, California, there was this assertive teenage boy who I’ll call Bart who had one beautiful teenage girl after another eating out of his hand.

One day in our Ten Forward employee lounge we began to talk about the subject of what else?

Chicks.

So Bart sighed and began to say words to the effect, remember to never let the chicks walk all over you.

He continued, “I make it clear to say, Karen, if you don’t give me what I want, there will be Alice, Clara, Maria, Christina, Paula or Bonnie to take your place.”

Don’t mess with me or I’ll dump you. Got it?

I asked him if he had been rejected before and he sighed, of course, everyone has. But always remember, when a chick rejects you, be nice to her, be polite but be brief and then never look at her again.

Every time you see her, do the same thing.

Never, never show her any anger or you’ll blow her ego up and she’ll talk to her girlfriends about you. Remember, even if she doesn’t want you for a boyfriend and is absolutely not in love with you, she loves the idea of you being in love with her.

Then he leaned forward, winked and smiled, “Take that away from her and you’ll be surprised how she reacts.”

So how did Vanity react to my distancing and polite behavior?

She tried to initiate conversations with me.

When her previous fights were through, I turned her interview over to another guy, but after her last match she asked me to interview her.

I quietly thought of Bart and smiled to myself.

As we were walking down the hallway towards the interview room she tried to engage me in conversation and turned to go in the powder room, expecting me to follow, and I purposely kept walking.

She can powder her nose by herself.

I reflected upon what he said. She’s not getting annoyed because she’s attracted to you.

She’s getting annoyed because you withdrew your attention from her and she misses it.

Now when she communicated with me there was a measure of angst in her voice and she seemed to try and annoy me. One time it worked and I contained myself but corrected her and to my complete surprise her eyes went downcast and she couldn’t make eye contact with me.

I felt like her father.

She had become very feminine, childlike and submissive.

Oh what a massive turn on.

If I wasn’t careful I could start falling in love with her all over again.

I wanted to go over to her and hold her in my arms.

I didn’t because I wasn’t quite finished with little Miss Vanity.

Per the Bart master, this was the time to introduce some other chicks into the equation. Remember the “if it’s not you, it’s gonna be her” tough guy teen talk?

Okay, so for Vanity’s benefit who should I rub in her face?

At that event there were a couple of options.

First of all, Cheyenne Jewel was there who I am extremely comfortable with, had dinner with her in San Diego and lunch with her in South San Francisco, had a great session with her and worked with her on video shoots.

Now mind you, I’m not saying that Cheyenne is attracted to me in a romantic way. We’re truly just friends.

What I’m saying is that I could begin to fawn all over her and flirt like crazy with her in front of Vanity without Cheyenne taking me seriously.

Unfortunately Cheyenne was only there for one day so that wasn’t an option.

Ah perfect.

Samantha Grace would be there the whole weekend.

Bingo!

You see, Samantha and I are almost like siblings. Even when there are long gaps where we haven’t seen each other, once we do, it’s like no time had passed.

I’ve had so many video shoots and corporate FCI lunches and dinners with Samantha that she would never be the wiser as to what is really going on since I pay her so much attention already. I’m not worried about her becoming attracted to me since I know her family and have never crossed inappropriate lines with her.

So that night a group of us were going to have dinner at a massive upscale mall and see a show afterwards.

Guess who would be there also? My dear Vanity.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

On that night, we were there early and I got a little worried because Vanity was not there. Oh no. This won’t do. Vanity, please show up so I can rub some Samantha’s Vineyard Holodeck mustard in your face.

She was late, but before I knew it, I recognized those gorgeous shapely hips and her walk.

It was Vanity.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I promptly put a smile on my face and said hi. Then walked away.

Now it was time to start fawning all over Samantha who is absolutely gorgeous and truthfully is far better looking in person than her photos.

I once witnessed a match where the other female wrestler involved stopped, looked at Samantha and stated, “You’re really pretty.”

Samantha is sweet, feminine, friendly, honest, down to earth and just perfect to rub in Vanity’s face.

I began to really flirt and spoil Samantha. I was practically wrestling her myself. We had dinner together and I made sure that Vanity knew it.

Salami sandwich it was for me.

Oh the memories.

When it was time for us to go to the show event, I announced that I would pay for Samantha (out loud and in front of Vanity) and left it to another male to pay for Vanity.

The way it works at events is that the girls never have to pay. So if someone didn’t step forward, I would have happily paid for Vanity but someone did so I continued to be polite if spoken to by Vanity, which now wasn’t often, and keep fawning all over Samantha.

To this day Samantha doesn’t know that I was doing that.

Once the event was over I would see Vanity one more time, briefly say hi and afterwards walk………well you know the drill.

Fortunately for me, Vanity and I live in different parts of the world.

Do I have feelings for her? Not really because I have a life that I’m passionate about and I handled the situation like Geordi.

After rejection? For repetition….

Have a passionate pathway in your life to dive into.

Be polite and professional.

I’m really glad that I didn’t allow her to turn me into some weak, pathetic Beta male, crying and whining, begging for her attention and sympathy, explaining how I’ve fallen in love with her so she can give me the, I think you’re a really nice guy speech and let’s just be friends, which by the way, she did give me that speech after she denied me the session and thought she was in control over this weak guy who had fallen in love with her.

She wasn’t behaving that way at the end.

Now again, this is about rejection and how to handle it.

Which raises one final question.

Why is it that after you have been rejected by Person A and are really nice to them and keep begging for their affection that they symbolically spit in your face and almost despise you?

I’m not a therapist but I was a leader in organized religion and worked with many couples and I have come to the conclusion that it is subconscious.

From cradle to grave, life is a subtle war where we must compete with and sometimes even if symbolic, eliminate one another from the competition. We also want our offspring to have a better future in a dangerous world and a weak person is not going to be able to help us get the job done.

One of my children graduated from Oxford in England with a Master’s degree. My other child possesses a Masters as well. Trust me, I needed a strong person to help me get that done.

Weak people, no matter how nice, will tend to bring bad things into your life and wilt under the pressure.

So I sense the attraction to a stronger personality is based upon ancient and primal survival.

At Femcompetitor Magazine, why is there a minimum bar of 1,000 words on an article?

Many reasons but one of the main ones is to distance ourselves from predators.

We have well over 1,000 articles in our library and climbing. If a group is going to try and imitate what we do it will be extremely expensive.

If Geordi started whining to Leah about how he still loved her and couldn’t live without her, the respect she once had for him after his professional approach would have quickly turned into disdain.

Has Femcompetitor Magazine written any articles promoting Vanity and her sessions?

Of course not.

Am I going to write articles about Vanity?

What do you think? Hey nothing personal. Truly. We’re all professionals here at Star Fleet.

Did she give me what I wanted?

Well, Fem Com Writer, what you asked for was not offered on the menu at her WB270.com profile you say.

And you know how I respond to that?

So what.

Now just because I’ve written articles telling “you” to remember to only ask for what is on the menu, I’m just singing the FCI company song.

Hey, if you are not willing to take risks and ask for what you really want in this short life, whose fault is that?

No sex of course. That’s truly out. It’s illegal.

But say for example, when I was a waiter at Farrell’s and you came in, looked at the menu and wanted pineapple, cherry and strawberry sauce on your vanilla sundae and we only offered one topping per sundae, the fact that you had the guts to even ask me for that, since on other shifts I worked behind the fountain too, I would walk back there in my waiter’s uniform and just make it for you and not charge you an extra penny, unlike other wait staff who would go to the manager and ask if it was “okay” since it wasn’t on the menu, the boss would usually say it was okay but charge them extra.

Phooey on that.

In this life you have to have the guts to ask for what you want.

As my teen friend Bart found out? The girls always said yes to him but he had to ask first.

Does Vanity think that I don’t like her?

I don’t know. You would have to ask her because in reality, she’s not thinking about me at all. I temporarily fell in love with her, not her with me.

Did Vanity respect how I behaved with the just the say hi and walk away approach?

Does that really matter?

What really matters is how I felt about myself after being rejected, went back to my passion and at the event, Geordi style, behaved in a professional way.

And how did I feel?