Things can go bad in a huge way when a person continues to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

It is always better to be honest and own up to it.

We’ve see this play out so often in procedural police dramas where Person A is not the perpetrator of the crime but they were peripherally involved and can face some serious jail time.

To avoid that fate they finally make the decision to be forthcoming about what actually occurred and how they were involved so they can get a deal.

Receiving a deal always speaks to personal responsibility.

Hopefully in our lives and yours, that only happens in the movies.

When bad things happen and a personal crisis arises do you find that you tend to blame others or take responsibility? article, Moose Photos

What is the major benefit of taking responsibility for our actions even if very painful?

Sitting on the couch in November of 2013 at Psychology Today, we learn a lesson from Ms. Jennifer Hamady.

Jennifer Hamady is a voice coach and psychotherapist specializing in technical and emotional issues that interfere with self-expression, as well as the author of “The Art of Singing: Discovering and Developing Your True Voice”.

Here is what she had to say regarding the importance of taking responsibility for our actions. “I’ve always been intrigued by the word ‘responsibility’ and how often it gets confused with blame, which of course implies that someone or something is at fault for a given situation.

Yet by distancing ourselves from our own potential role in problems, we also disregard the possibility of our place in the solutions, as well as the joy and affinity that come from problem solving effectively together.”

Very good advice. It is consistent with the thoughts of another informative source in another region of the world.

At they admonish, “Once you accept total responsibility for everything that happens to you in life, you will soon discover that this also enables you to find solutions to life’s difficulties far more quickly.”

Therein appears to be the key.

The more we accept responsibility for what happens in our lives, the more we can come up with solutions to address and solve the current problem so that we can move forward. article, Christina Morillo photo credit

We return to film for some additional life lessons because it is often less painful to learn from the experiences of others.

Let’s start with the taking of responsibility in the wrong way.

We can’t say enough how we’ve seen teen oriented movies, especially on Lifetime, where the female teen faces a family or financial crisis and to respond to this, she decides to get paid for sex.

An example of this is the film titled, “Walking the Halls”.

The storyline goes, “When a teenager finds herself drawn into a call girl ring organized by a campus police officer, she must get herself out before her life falls apart.”

The sooner the better.

On the surface it is a hilarious premise, though at times entertaining, but they often use it as an excuse to get into college since Dad’s out of a job or the parents are getting a divorce and are out of money.

Yes they are taking responsibility to change their finances but the horrible decision making creates far more problems.

Remember, taking responsibility is about solving an old and recurring problem and not creating a new one.

Yes, the movie we just described is a stretch but how often have we responded to a bad situation by making it worse? Blaming others will certainly make it worse and create more problems. Taking the easy way out will tend to do the same.

A genre of film that at least in its early years captivated many were the situations where the heroine or hero telling the story did not know that they were dead.

Initially we didn’t either.

They tend to take us on this interesting journey where there are red flags along the way but until they begin to focus on self and personal responsibility, they are always puzzled and searching.

Once they take responsibility for their part in their demise, finally they and we as voyeurs see what their real condition is and more importantly how they got there.

In your decision making to solve your problem, are you taking the easy way out and are you possibly blaming others?

We knew of a situation in our circle where a friend was financially preyed upon by close family members. For years he kept repeating his plight over and over, and though we wanted to sympathize and temporarily did because he got rocked pretty good, at some point a number of us were tired of hearing about it. Why? Because he wasn’t looking for solutions and he kept blaming those involved who helped make his horrific bed.

We would agree to meet him for lunch or at a social gathering and initially the conversation was about something else but soon he would wallow in his pain and embarrassment for publicly failing and before you know it, here we go again and again and again.

When he finally came to terms with the fact that he was responsible for allowing them to take advantage of him that is when real change began.

Why is that important? Why was it always truly about him?

If he continued to blame the people from the past who actually were very awful but didn’t change his own behavior that allowed them access, he could move on to one social circle after another and those with predatory tendencies would size him up, gain his confidence and do it to him all over again.

Remember, “Con” is the root word of confidence.

Once he took responsibility for his part, he learned some early warning signs of predatory behavior. The first that really stood out were the excessive compliments given. That is a red flag. He also took stock of the fact how he had to brag to others about his financial and personal accomplishments which was a sign of low self-esteem.

Once he began to change those and other patterns, his life began to change.

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”… Eleanor Roosevelt

The modern day professional and collegiate sports world where there are massive amounts of finance at stake for winning or losing forces individuals to take responsibility.

It is about production and results.

A common occurrence after a loss or unfortunate situation is for the individual involved to take responsibility for their actions and change. Even if not sincere, they have become wise enough to say it publicly.

The public does not respect excuses makers and blame flamers.

Being responsible for our actions and situations improves our lives. People see us as being a responsible person and they respect us for it. We are accountable for our own behavior and they admire that.

Most important the word responsibility contracted is a response ability.

The ability to effectively respond leads to discovering and implementing solutions.

Yes solutions.

Isn’t that what we all want? article, Bruce Mars photo credit

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