July 20, 2020,

Gazing into the mirror, what do you see?

If you are sheltering in, you should have plenty of time to do it.

Who do you see looking back at you?

Is it the person that you would like to see?

Mind you, we didn’t say like to be. That is a whole different reflection. We’re speaking of who you see when you look in the mirror. The current version of you.

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It is subjective you know.

Though the name is changed, this is a very true accounting to what happened to a person in our circle when they were young.

As a teen, Francis was always self-conscious and had deep feelings of inadequacies.

When she looked in the mirror, she saw someone that she didn’t find attractive and in her mind, apparently boys did not either since she didn’t have a boyfriend.

Change that.

Never had a boyfriend.

She was often teased about her clearly low self-esteem and even bullied because she dressed very 1950’s like. Very church like.

At the urging of a friend, she decided to change her look and become more urban contemporary.

This lasted for about a year.

Strange things started to happen to her.

Boys started flirting with her. Heavily.

Boys started trying to hang out with her. Heavily.

Heavily began to feel heavenly.

The problem was that she couldn’t figure out why. Then one day it happened.

She was relaxing with a female friend who began showing her pictures of her other female friends, in effect showing how popular she was. Flip, flip, flip, her friend went through the pictures. In Francis mind, no one was actually spectacular.

Until she came to the last picture and quickly flipped through it.

The last picture caught Francis eye. Wow, what an absolutely gorgeous girl. She was really curious who the girl was because her friend had flipped through the picture so quickly. Did the girl go to her high school or a different one? It must be a different one because she clearly had not seen her before.

Or so she thought.

Francis asked her friend to flip back to the picture of that incredibly good looking girl.

Her friend looked at her puzzled but complied. She flipped back to the picture of the girl who looked better than the previous girls, similar to a princess. Then she paused on it.

Francis was absolutely shocked. Stunned.

She had seen the girl before. Countless times. Yes, she did indeed go to her high school and Francis knew her very well. As someone else. Who was the stunning girl in the picture?

It was Francis.

This is based upon a true story.

Again, when you look in the mirror, who do you see looking back at you?

Is it the person that you want to see? It can be. If it is not, to begin with, what is it about the reflection of you that you like the least? That actually is just the starting place.

Is it your hair? Your skin? Your physical shape? What is it? You should define it.

What soon happened to Francis?

Once she understood the reason why the boys were now paying attention to her, Francis confidence soared.

She began to dress more fashionably, which was not erotic but was contemporary sexy. To be direct, she didn’t want the slutty look.

There was something else that she eventually figured out about that photo of herself caught off guard.

The girl in the picture was courageous. A risk taker.

For the things that she desired, Francis began to take more risks and soon guess what happened?

She began to get exactly what she wanted out of life. She then began to take steps to get additional things that she wanted.

That is an important point.

In your case, it might be a major mistake to think that looks alone will determine what life you have. For Francis, the internal makeup of the girl in the picture was actually far more important.

In terms of your internal makeup, are you taking more risks for the things that you want out of life? Or are you settling and playing it safe? Are you exercising self-control in speech and behavior the way a person who is good looking, charming and with higher self-esteem would behave? Or do you always have to tell jokes, act silly and employ other comedic outbursts so that you get noticed?

Those things are very important. The answer to those questions matter. They are also connected to good looks.

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At the informative news and information site businessinsider.com they educate, “Studies show that you’re more likely to get hired if you look well-groomed, that good-looking people make about 12% more money than less appealing folks, and that attractive real-estate brokers bring in more money than their less attractive peers. Indeed, according to a just-published paper on the 2018 congressional midterms, more attractive candidates are more likely to get elected.”

Very intriguing but not surprising, is it?

Who said life is fair?

We’re not surprised. Francis real life story tells us that.

Business Insider adds something else, “Men are more likely to tolerate unfairness — such as a hefty salary negotiation — when dealing with attractive women, one study finds. Results indicated men were more likely to engage in unfair negotiations with attractive women.”

So you see, physical attraction and internal makeup go together. Attractive cosmetic makeup and internal makeup.

You can work on both. Study physical make overs. You will most likely find some elements consistent.

Once the sheltering in is abated, get to the gym and stay there.

Make no excuses for not being in nice physical shape. You don’t need to be a body builder but certain physical exercise can help. If you know a lot of men like curvy, slight larger butts there are squats and other exercise to get you there.

Are you willing to put in the work? Please don’t feel sorry for yourself. That won’t help anything.

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Study contemporary classy styles. See what applies to you.

Read about how successful people interact with others especially listening more and speaking less.

Don’t complain about others in your conversations. Successful people are constantly complimenting others.

Be interested in other people that you want to associate with. People love to hear about themselves.

One male in our circle works out at the gym. A woman there smiled and asked him if he was following her.

Handsome and charming, he smiled and responded, “Physically or spiritually?”

She laughed at his sense of humor and expressed, “Hopefully not spiritually, or you’re in big trouble.”

They both laughed and formed a friendship. Will it go somewhere? Only time will tell.

“Anyone that says looks don’t count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It’s the way humans work.”…Joan Rivers

Okay. It’s time to look in the mirror. Who do you see looking back at you?

Do you like what you see? If not, who would you like to see?

Ready to make changes?

If so, please remember this true accounting from Francis. Real change?

Typically it is both physical and internal.

You have the power to enhance both.

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