March 10, 2019,

Letting go, in conjunction with moving on, are similar to turning on the ignition to your car and driving forward.

You have to initiate one before you can move forward to the other.

Some mistake letting go and moving on as synonyms.

They are not.

They are phrases on the surface that seem similar or even may mean exactly or nearly the same thing but clearly one comes before the other and require different step constructions.

Before you turn on the ignition, you have to take steps to get there. First you left your dwelling where you could have stayed for the day. Second you walk to your car where you could just sit there and mull your situation.

Then you turn on the ignition.

Now you can stay put or drive on and move forward.

Since they are completely different processes, today we’re going to focus on the first endeavor, often a very emotional one, which is to learn how to let go.

Turning to film is often an exceptional way to learn how to let go by watching other people’s devastating and revealing experiences.

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Three Colours: Blue is a 1993 French drama film directed and co-written by Polish filmmaker Krzysztof Kieślowski.

Blue is the first of three films that comprise the Three Colours trilogy, themed on the French Revolutionary ideals of liberty, equality, and fraternity; it is followed by White and Red. According to Kieślowski, the subject of the film is liberty, specifically emotional liberty, rather than its social or political meaning.

Set in Paris, the film is about a woman (Julie) whose husband and child are killed in a car accident. Suddenly set free from her familial bonds, she attempts to cut herself off from everything and live in isolation from her former ties, but finds that she can’t free herself from human connections.

Julie disassociates herself from all past memories and distances herself from former friendships, even being no longer recognized by her mother, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease.

Despite her desire to live anonymously and alone, life in Paris forces Julie to confront elements of her past that she would rather not face.

As the film evolves, what helps Julie to let go is the actions that she must take to finalize a decision about an important work that will immortalize her deceased husband.

The keys in the film are that initially she takes steps to distance herself from the past by eliminating it, which, unknown to her, is a process of holding on to it.

When she is finally ready to confront issues of the past, an extremely painful proposition, it was only then that she could begin to move on.

In the world of song, “Cherry Hill Park” is written by Robert Nix and Billy Gilmore.

Its original version by Billy Joe Royal was a hit in 1969 reaching #15 on both the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Here are some of the lyrics.

Mary Hill used to hang out in Cherry Hill Park
The game she played lasted all day till way after dark
All the girls they criticized her
But all the guys just idolized her

‘Cause Mary Hill was such a thrill after dark
In Cherry Hill Park

Then one day, Mary Hill, she married away
A man with some money said come on honey
And she said okay
She went away to play a one man game
And since that day it ain’t been the same…….

The character that Mr. Royal plays obviously had a tremendous time with Mary but what stands out is that Mary at some point married and moved on. His character continues to remanence and re-live the thrill of the romantic experiences and can’t seem to let go.

What is so moving about the song is that so many of us have our most intense romantic experiences when we are teens and they tend to be extremely powerful because not only are things happening for the first time but also because we are young and never will be again.

Those experiences can resurface, especially when we are middle aged, have suffered severe setbacks and long for much better times.

The problem with not letting go is that it is hard to drive the car into our future, one that is finite and like sand in an hour glass, diminishing, thus it is imperative to let go so that we can move towards the epitome of the life that we hope to have in our declining years.

Another song that is the epitome of not letting go is Patches, sung by Mr. Dickie Lee.

The 1962 song tells in waltz-time the story of teenage lovers of different social classes whose parents forbid their love.

Here are the lyrics:

Down by the river that flows by the coal yards.
Stands wooden houses with shutters torn down
There lives a girl everybody calls Patches
Patches my darling of Old Shanty town

We plan to marry when June brought the summer
I couldn’t wait to make Patches my bride
Now I don’t see how that ever can happen
My folks say No, and my heart breaks inside

Patches oh what can I do
I swear I’ll always love you
But a girl from that place would just bring me disgrace
So my folks won’t let me love you

It may not be right But I’ll join you tonight
Patches I’m coming to you………….

Sadly, the song speaks for itself. The male teen involved could not let go with devastating and permanent results.

We know of someone in our circle who after attending a 20 year high school reunion became obsessed with trying to re-connect with a then thirty something young woman he was once in love with when they were teens and felt that he had wronged.

When he wrote her to apologize, she responded in an angry way and refused to meet with him.

The two would never meet and reconcile and he was shocked at how even 20 years later, in his fifties, deep down he still wanted to reconcile with her.

He was not able to let go.

Our assessment was that it was no longer her issue at all. Even if not in perfect form, she made a decision to move on and return to her present day life. He functioned but certain present occurrences would trigger a renewal of emotions, like closing down his childhood home and moving his last living parent into an assisted living facility.

He was never going to be able to go home again.

We could present you with many examples but in our experience there seems to be something very consistent with people having difficulty in middle to older age, letting go.

Something is not right in their present.

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Often it is a major life setback or their feeling that they have not achieved the success they have hoped for.

Maybe from time to time you have felt that too. If we have, then how can we begin to let go?

In a May 2, 2016 article found at psychologytoday.com, Ms. Andrea Mathews LPC, NCC shares, “Letting go is all about reality.  Rather than deluding ourselves by making ourselves believe we have all kinds of powers we don’t have, letting go is about facing the facts.  We don’t have the power to change other people.  We don’t have the power to fix other people. We can’t influence them to change—we have no power to do that.  If they change and later tell us that something we said or did impacted them, it was because they chose to allow the impact to make a difference.  They could have dismissed it, just like they have dismissed the million other attempts we have made to make them change.”

In our friend’s case, there was very little that his teen love could do to assist him in letting go. Apart from her, this is something that he needs to do.

Learning from different points of view can be very helpful in gaining some perspective on a painful situation.

We have a visiting writer.

Danielle Pierre is a published author, life coach, hypnotherapist and co-host of the popular internet radio show, D-Talks Radio.

Based on her own life experiences, Danielle is acutely aware of the incredible potential we each have to create a happy and fulfilling life – physically, financially and spiritually – regardless of where we stand right now. It is the desire to share in that awareness that is her driving force.

It is Danielle’s ultimate goal to empower those seeking to improve the quality of their lives and help others emerge from negative mindsets and self-sabotaging behaviors in order to clear the path to the life they desire.

In addition, Danielle is the co-founder and CEO of Walk-It-Out Fundraisers, Inc., a non-profit organization designed to bring aid and awareness to various causes through walk events. In 2009 she successfully completed a 500+ mile walk from San Francisco to San Diego for domestic violence awareness. She works with The Elite Speakers Bureau, Inc., founded by Denise Brown (sister of Nicole Brown Simpson), helping to bring expert mental wellness and violence prevention speakers to schools and communities.

Please relax, be open, learn and enjoy.

The Benefits of Letting Go

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By Danielle T. Pierre

Letting go seems to be one of the most difficult things for most of us to do, yet it’s the most rewarding and freeing experience you can ever give yourself. The ability to let go frees you both emotionally and physically.

There is often a misconception as to what “letting go” really means, so first I’d like to clear that up.

I (and many others) discuss and teach that taking action is a mandatory part of any type of success, and of course my first book is titled “Just Make It Happen” which appears to conflict with “letting go”, doesn’t it? Not at all, if you understand what it truly means to let go.

See, when we let go, we let go of the fears and other negative beliefs that hold us back from moving forward. In essence, we are letting the universe know “Okay, it’s in your hands. I’m not going to fear any obstacle or outcome. I will accept what comes my way and deal with each day and circumstance as it arises”, and then sincerely trusting that everything will be okay so we can move forward with confidence and courage. In short, we do not allow our negative belief systems to get in our way and we stop worrying about the things which we cannot change.

Once you’re able to let go, you dispel an enormous amount of negative energy from your body and allow positive, loving energy to move through you. When we hold on to the negative belief system, we block the flow of positive energy – our life source and it cannot move through us. How can we manifest our desires if the source of our power, our strength, is held up at the gate? Do you see how this works?

The misconception is this:

Letting go does not mean to sit back and wait for something to happen. Absolutely not. You’re in for a huge disappointment if that’s what you believe, and often the people who believe this end up asking God why they are being ignored and then they fall into the victim trap. Letting go means to move forward with faith and confidence and without fear of failure or rejection. You most certainly have to take action in order to make it happen – but you can only do so if you let go.

Learning acceptance and letting go applies to everything in your life. If your spouse or partner leaves you; if a family member isn’t speaking to you; if you’re diagnosed with a serious illness. As difficult as it may seem at the time, you have the ability to let go of fear, anger, resentment and other negative beliefs. Feel them, acknowledge them and then let them go. When you hang on, you not only prevent yourself from attracting joy into your life, but you poison your body which leaves you vulnerable to all types of negative circumstances, disease and illness. If you have an illness, holding on to negative thoughts only worsens the condition.

So, how do we let go?

Understanding and accepting that your thoughts and actions are the only thing which you have absolute control over is the first step in the letting go process. There are many other rituals you can incorporate into your daily life which will make letting go easier like meditation, positive affirmations and continuing to read, listen, watch and learn about yourself and others.

There is no magic formula to letting go; this is one of those things that you have to learn with practice. Breathe deep, continue to remind yourself that you only have control over yourself and let go. When the negative feelings begin to creep back into your mind and body, repeat. Keep repeating this process as the need to hold on to all of those negative feelings returns. By making this a habit, it becomes easier and easier to let go until eventually it becomes a way of life.

Letting go is just one aspect of the personal development journey. If you would like to learn more about how to get control of your thoughts, let go, take action and manifest the life you desire, visit the website listed below.

You will always be faced with challenges, negative thoughts and feelings, but how you respond to them determines your reality. By teaching yourself the art of letting go, you are transforming your entire life, inspiring those around you and allowing yourself to experience true joy.

Danielle Pierre is a published author, life coach, hypnotherapist and co-host of the popular internet radio show, D-Talks Radio. If you would like to set up a free life coaching consultation with Danielle, contact her at danielle@dpmotivation.com. For free empowerment tools and gifts visit [http://dpmotivation.com]

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https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Benefits-of-Letting-Go&id=6042296

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Danielle_T._Pierre/941726

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6042296

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201605/how-let-it-go

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/07/22/learning-to-let-go-of-past-hurts-5-ways-to-move-on/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Hill_Park

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Colours:_Blue