Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com By-Irina-Bg-Shutterstock-
July 4, 2021,
Let’s don’t get into an argument.
Just an intellectual discussion by the fireplace or swimming pool.
For clarification, actually, it is not like a nose, so you shouldn’t compare it to one.
Or maybe you should. We’ll come back to this point.
On the other hand, opinions are like a nose. Everyone’s got one. Often times a big nasty one. Filled with snot and hot air.
High expectations are not like opinions because some people, even parents don’t have any.
Don’t you think they should though? Because we’re certain they have opinions.
Which is more important to have, big opinions are high expectations?
Easy to answer. True?
When it comes to high expectations, some people don’t see it as a good thing, especially when those high expectations are necklaces parents place around the necks of their children.
Our opinion?
Wait a second, we need to blow our nose. Ah, that’s better. Here goes.
We love high expectations.
Why? In general it impels you to achieve far more than you would without them. It also forces those with high expectations for you, like your parents, to heavily invest in you far more than if they had none.
We love real life stories and experiences.
One of our associates played high school football for Westmoor of Daly City back in the 1970’s on the San Francisco South Peninsula. He remembers giving up the winning touchdown in a very tight game against Terra Nova high school who then stormed on to win their first North Peninsula League championship.
It is a memory that still haunts him in his 60’s. He thinks about it every day.
Part of the problem with his high school football career was that his parents, wonderful though they were, had no expectations for him in football and therefore did not invest in him.
What impressed him most about the Terra Nova Tigers, class of 1976, was how strongly their parents supported them. Noises makers and cheering adults everywhere.
It made a difference.
He was determined that when he had his own children that he would be the parent with the extremely high expectations.
Minus the noise makers.
As a result, both of his children finished high school with above 4.1 GPA’s and would later earn Master’s degrees.
Coached by him, after 4-10 and 3-11 won lost records as an underclassman, his daughter saw her senior tennis campaign at one point boast a 13-0 record, all victories 2 sets to none, a spot in the final four championships, was named team MVP and she led her high school to the playoffs for the first time in school history.
She would later work in the White House.
Where did achieve her Master’s degree?
Oxford in England.
Now that’s where high expectations may get you.
With his son, his former Track and Field high school coach moved out of state. Our Associate, with the help of another great coach, took over and propelled his son to finish his senior year as California’s number one ranked senior in the brutally competitive men’s 100 meter event.
Yes, number one in the most populated state in America.
Always remember, if the parents have high expectations for their children, they are impelled to heavily invest in the process themselves.
That is very important to remember.
The benefits go far beyond sports.
What kind of adult life is someone more likely to live if they have a Master’s degree as opposed to those who never went to college?
Right answer.
Who are they most likely to marry? What are the chances that their children, his grandchildren, not live in bad neighborhoods?
You are doing very well on this test.
So, perhaps, if you don’t have high expectations for yourself or your children, maybe it is time to hit the reset button.
It goes beyond the parents. It takes a village to raise a child. True?
The bright minds at oregongearup.org educate, “When teachers have high expectations for students and provide tasks that are engaging and of high interest, students build self-esteem, increase confidence and improve academic performance (Brophy, 2008; 2010). Student confidence is critical because it is linked to student’s willingness to tackle challenging learning activities”
They add that a teacher’s expectations, either high or low, become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Students perform in ways that teachers expect. A teacher’s beliefs about student potential are particularly powerful for students.
But what about the Daddy Dearest syndrome?
High expectations places too much pressure on the child and the parent’s force them to live the life that the parents want for them as opposed to the life the child wants for themselves. How about those apples?
Our professional response?
Horse pooh.
Why?
First of all, how in the world does a child know what she or he wants to do with their life at ten years old?
Maybe the parent’s should show them many pathways to participate in so the child can begin to make an informed decision by the time they reach their teens.
Many moons ago, our Associate was having a conversation with a female family friend and offered to coach her daughter in tennis.
The friend decided to decline because she wanted her daughter to experience many disciplines so that she could make an informed decision.
Our Associate didn’t push it but quietly disagreed with her.
This is one time that he asked her out loud, when your daughter is 16 and she has a chance, with a powerful serve and volley game, to make it to the United States Open, what do you think she would prefer?
He would have a conversation with one of his adult children about how they viewed their past with him in terms of being forced, excuse us, we mean, being motivated to have high expectations?
His child initially hated it as a teen but as an adult, with their own child, now feels having extremely high expectations for their child is the only way to go.
We say all of this because the planet we live on seems to be rolling over in its sleep like it is having an excruciating nightmare. Burning up with a high fever, wrenching here and crunching there, taking us all along for a very painful and bumpy ride.
The earth’s population is surging as well.
In demographics, the world population is the total number of humans currently living, and was estimated to have reached 7,800,000,000 people as of March 2020.
Yes, almost eight bah, bah, bah, billion.
It took over 2 million years of human prehistory and history for the world’s population to reach 1 billion, and only 200 years more to reach 7 billion.
With somewhat finite resources, a surging population and an earth that can’t seem to get a calm good night’s sleep, a line of reasoning could be that having high expectations for your child and heavily investing in them, not only increases their chances for survival but their opportunity to live a much better life.
Yes, even one that they want for themselves.
As we’ve seen from our example here, the positive effects of high expectations can carry on through generations.
So while high expectations are not like an opinion, where everyone seems to have one, even when they shouldn’t, we’ve reconsidered our original position.
High expectations are indeed like a nose.
You have a chance for a much better life it you have one.
~ ~ ~
OPENING PHOTO Femcompetitor.com, grapplingstars.com, fciwomenswrestling.com, fcielitecompetitor.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com By-Irina-Bg-Shutterstock-
https://oregongearup.org/sites/oregongearup.org/files/research-briefs/highexpectations.pdf
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population
https://www.fcielitecompetitor.com/
https://fciwomenswrestling.com/
