Do you really mean that?

Has anyone ever asked you that question while staring deep into your eyes?

Well, have they? article - Wikimedia photo article – Wikimedia photo

If they have, what they really seem to be saying is that in your past dealings with them, sometimes they felt that you have not been up front or completely honest. The human mind has a way of seeing the truth. Even supreme diplomacy at times is no substitute for polite, inoffensive honesty that still may offend.

In simplest terms, honesty is the quality of being fair and truthful.

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom”.………Thomas Jefferson

The experts who report on the study of the human mind,,  speaks to one of the important benefits of emotional honesty. “One of the main factors that set great relationships apart from merely good ones is the depth of emotional intimacy. There are, of course other factors that contribute but authenticity, vulnerability and deep emotional connectedness are right up there at the top of the list.”

A respected Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author and Public Speaker, Cortney S. Warren, Ph.D. at explains, “Anyone who has engaged in psychological work though psychotherapy, meditation, and self-help practices knows that choosing to be honest with ourselves is incredibly hard. It requires that we develop enough self-esteem to tolerate the truth and to change once the truth is acknowledged.”

My passion and mild obsession with German sports figures from the past is their inability to hide their honesty.

Tennis stars Boris Becker and Steffi Graf achieved records not just on paper but in our hearts that will never be broken. In any sport, records will always come and go; Steffi’s being within reach of our sensational American star Serena Williams.

There was something about Steffi’s demeanor though when she played that sometimes broke my heart. article, wikimedia photo article, wikimedia photo

She was not an emotional player on the courts as she quietly went about her business but as a fan it was as though you could feel what she was thinking and absorb what she was feeling when things, not only on the court, but in her personal life, was not as she hoped it to be. Now that she is married with children to super star and tennis legend Andre Agassi, at least with a distant public lens, she truly seems to be happy.

There was a strong sense of honesty to her that seemed impossible to hide.

Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.

……..James E. Faust

With Boris he displayed a different sort of honesty they spilled out especially when he was not playing his game, even when he was winning. The hand gestures, the pacing, the swearing during high stakes matches often seemed to work to his advantage. What I liked about him most was who he personally seemed to be internally, especially during candid interviews away from tennis.

His honesty bled through. article, wikimedia photo article, wikimedia photo

I’m not naïve enough to believe that all of German society is honest but I must admit there seems to be a unique approach to it than any other culture I have spent extensive time with.

Now a lifetime ago, when I was in an International Faith Based organization that embraced all nationalities, there was something a little different about the German nationals that I formed friendships with. Frank and Brigitte’s faces call out to me from the past.

I met Brigitte at a health food sandwich shop and we were young so there was this kind of banter that would take place between us. She was from Munich and explained the differences between people from that region and Berlin. In her opinion Munich had a much higher sense of fashion and I must give her credit with her natural flaming long red hair, when it was time to dress to the nines, she looked like a ten.

In our female wrestling industry during the snail mail days I really enjoyed the matches at Beka films where these robust, shapely German beauties with big beautiful feminine calves would go full tilt with each other in erotic battle. My favorite was a blonde named Karin. The announcer in the background would often be over heard counting and saying “Yah, Yah, Yah, Yah!”

Now that DWW has ceased producing new matches and events, our source of German female wrestlers, especially at non-nude events seems to be lessening. I’m aware of Anna Konda’s great club and they have their flare but are small by comparison.

In the early to mid-2000 period the stealth Karine was one of my favorites and for those of you who followed her, she wrestled with a passion seldom seen. It was hard for her to hide her honesty at times refusing to shake the hand of an opponent that she felt had competed unjustly. article, allyoucanfeet  photo article, allyoucanfeet photo

Where are our future German female stars going to come from?

There is hope when you look at the freestyle wrestling world in the ascension of stars Aline Focken and Maria Selmaier.

The sound information source Wikipedia shares, “Aline Focken (born 10 May 1991) is a German freestyle wrestler. She won the world title in the 69 kg division in 2014 and a bronze medal in the 67 kg category at the 2013 European Championships. She started wrestling in 1996 under the guidance of her father, Hans-Georg Focken.” article, autogramm   photo article, autogramm photo

In an interview, Aline expressed appreciation for how her friends and family helped propel her to these great heights and she hopes that by winning the world title it can have a positive effect on women’s wrestling in Germany.

The respected wrestling news source on September 4, 2014 shared, “Germany’s Maria Selmaier has won three medals in international events this year and seeks to reach the medal rounds at the Senior Worlds for the first time this year. Epp Mae of Estonia was 10th in the World last year and has won five medals this season, including a silver medal at the World University Championships. Placing fifth at the 2013 World Championships was Yasemin Adar of Turkey, who was ninth at the 2014 European Championships and has not won a medal yet this year.”

Promoting and developing women’s wrestling in Germany is worth our industry’s persistence. With her rich past and promising future it would be a wise and honest thing for us to do.

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Sources:, Wikipedia,,, FCI Elite Competitor,, photo credit cartoon,,,,, photos thank you Wikimedia Commons.