Hotel Nikko in San Francisco was our family vacation of choice for over fifteen years. It was like experiencing Japan without traveling by plane. Everything from the customer service to the décor was first class and meticulously thought out.

The memories include playing Marco Polo with the children in their picturesque atrium covered pool, watching the San Francisco skyline at night from above the 15^th floor, waking up in the morning to a well cooked and delicious breakfast a top the lobby and shopping at Macy’s down the street. From time to time we saw well known luminaries walk by the elevators. Then when the kids reached their early teens, walking to Rasputin Music store, an energetic, cool as it gets video and music shop to graze for hours.

I knew it was good then so I kept a diary. Now the kids are married or busy in their new life but I was wise enough to keep the diary and pictures to this day.

By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.……Voltaire

I thought of all of this when I picked up the gorgeous female wrestler and model Daisy Ducati by Nikko to cover a wrestling shoot.

It made me wonder about the idea of appreciation.

Why is it so important to appreciate the moments and the important people while they are right in front of you in the present as opposed to greatly enjoying the moment but being oblivious to the magnitude of it?

Of course we often have that question answered years later when the opportunity to enjoy and relive the experiences are permanently gone.

I’ll think on it for a bit and later try and answer that question.

I bring this up because I sense for us female wrestling fans we often enjoy our beautiful competitors like Daisy in the moment but perhaps do not demonstrate that in real ways and then one day you look up and they are no longer wrestling in part due to the fact that when they did compete, they were not shown enough appreciation.

Some of the beautiful competitors that I have covered and worked with are FeFe of UFG fame, Kait Snow, Poppy of Gilroy and Olivia D’Angelo and I seldom see them wrestle anywhere, anymore.

 Super Tough Olivia D’Angelo

If they fade from the scene, they often retire and never come back. So much of that is based upon our decision as fans to not buy their products but instead keep trying to get the free stuff that has been pirated online. When FCI researches wrestlers, we will often go the site and purchase the product to do our homework.

What can we do as fans in the present to show our appreciation to them while they are still active which increases the odds that they will remain active longer so that we can enjoy their performances for an extended period of time?

FCI tries to stay current with the activities of the Fem Competitors of our industry and see how we can promote them so in surfing to Daisy’s stomping grounds; I found something revealing that seems to speak to this very discussion.

Daisy explains, “Lately I’ve received many questions from adoring fans about the best ways to support their favorite stars. Aside from the obvious monetary tributes and wish list gifts, there are lots of ways to share the love and show us that you care.

The best thing you can possibly do to get in my good graces is to buy my shoots. Period.

My career depends on it. To put it simply, there is a direct correlation between the sales of shoots I star in and my ability to continue working. If you are watching pirated versions of my videos on tube sites or downloaded through torrents etc., you are doing the exact opposite of supporting me. As performers we put our blood, sweat and tears into our work and we expect to be compensated for our labor.

We have affiliate programs. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, I’ll explain it simply. Through affiliate programs, we are given special links to content that directly connect the sales to our referral. With these links, I can make a percentage of content sales as an incentive for promotion. Basically, if you were to purchase a shoot that I promote here on my blog, I directly benefit from that sale.

Another way to help me out is to do what most of you are already really good at, simply talk about me.

When you tweet, blog and post about me, it boosts my signal and promotes me as a performer. This is particularly effective when you hit up your favorite directors and let them know you want to see more of me. Most directors actually really want to hear about fan favorites and will take the recommendations.

Daisy and Minxy Li grapple

Finally, many performers, and sex workers in general, rely on an intricate network of support services to handle industry specific needs. Things like healthcare and transportation are often sensitive issues for those of us in the business of sex because of issues of privacy, safety, etc. Thankfully, at least in the SF Bay Area, we have access to several non-profit and volunteer run services that help us take care of these very sensitive needs. Below is a short list of some of the services that I personally use and donate to. If you really want to help me continue doing what I do best, you can support me by supporting my support networks.

Any and all donations to these organizations directly benefits Bay Area sex workers like myself. Tweet me a screenshot of your donation receipt to any of these organizations and I will send you a personalized thank you.

Homobiles– committed to providing secure and reliable transit to the SF Bay Area sex worker and LGBTIQQ community and its allies

St. James Infirmary – peer based occupational health and safety clinic for sex workers and their families.

SWOP Bay Area– SF Bay Area chapter of Sex Workers Outreach Project, a national social justice network dedicated to the fundamental human rights of sex workers and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy.

APAC– The Adult Performer Advocacy Committee advocates to maintain and improve safety and working conditions in the adult film industry by giving adult performers organized representation in matters that affect our health, safety, and community.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the support of people like you.”

Daisy, Female Competition International would like to say thank you for your great performances and professional approach.

I’m almost ready to answer the question about being keenly aware of appreciating the moment so to help cement the concept, as I often do; I’m going to travel to the world of film.

I’ve read where professional critics from time to time mildly scold us movie fans for placing too much value on film. They are a small group but very incisive in making their point. The summation of their view seems to be that watching films do not change people’s lives but instead entertain and educate. If watching a film does change your life with great impact, it might raise troubling questions as to what kind of life you have.

I see their point but as someone who has easily watched over 5,000 films, many of them Foreign or Independent, I have a long list of films that I can’t get out of my system. The list is too long to name here.

The key to a film making that list is when I watch it for the first time, I clearly enjoy it at the moment, but while I’m watching it, compared to most others, I know it’s absolutely special. So I relax and enjoy it but will immediately watch it again to try and understand why it is affecting me in such a strong way.

One of the films that made that growing and special list was Denzel Washington’s masterpiece, Training Day.

First off, it’s hard to believe that it’s been almost 15 years since I first saw that film. When I initially viewed it I was instantly mesmerized. I probably have watched it over the years easily ten times, especially his melt down scene near the end. Why it impacted me is another article for another day. For our purposes here, speaking to appreciation, I turn my attention to the moving actress Sarah Goldberg who sadly has passed.

Do you remember her role in Training Day?

In the early part of the film, to obtain his drug stash to impact the day of the rookie officer in training, Ethan Hawke, Denzel’s character under the color of police authority stops a car filled with young people partying. He roughs them up emotionally in a large way. When he was finished, it was the haunting look on the face of that deeply traumatized, beautiful young girl as she stared out of the window in shock and disbelief that I would never forget.

Now for the point.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.…Melody Beattie

Of all of the people that acted in Training Day; I never, never would have thought that Sarah would be one of the ones to pass off this earth so quickly.

I saw the headline that read, “Sarah Goldberg, who starred in the television series “7th Heaven” and the film “Jurassic Park III,” passed. She was only 40.”

If you love her work, hopefully you appreciated it while she was here because you will never see it again.

With our female wrestlers, in the above open letter to us, Daisy makes some exceptional points.

Now I think I can answer my earlier question.

The reason I feel it’s so important to enjoy the present with defined acts of appreciation is after the years have passed and the experience can never be repeated, I’m filled with melancholy and mild sadness with a smile knowing that I got it right the first time. In my dreams, I enjoy reliving it over and over. I swim in it and savor it.

When I walk through an important experience without defined appreciation, years later when the memories force themselves upon me, I’m filled with despair, devastation and unescapable sadness because I had it right in front of me and let it slip away without fully appreciating what I had; knowing it can never be recreated. It hurts so badly when life passes you by.

I try not to think about it.

Our star female wrestlers are in front of us right now. The more we buy their products which is a defined measure of appreciation, the longer they are most likely to stay around and be enjoyed before it’s permanently too late.

Kait and Poppy. Will we ever see them again?

~ ~ ~

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