January 19, 2019

Isn’t this something that you should have thought about ahead of time?

You’re getting ready to play the number 16 player in the world on one of the world’s largest tennis stages at the 2019 Australian Open.

You are no slouch yourself, ranked at number 79.

Granted it is not in the top 50, which gets you accolades as a top player and allows you at times to be protected during the first round of a major, but still, 79 is extremely good.

About that number 16 player.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com article, photo via Complex

That ranking is symbolic because she doesn’t play like a number 16 player. She plays more like a number one player and why shouldn’t she since she used to be number one, for a very long time until she went on maternity leave.


She plays like the greatest number one female tennis player of all time.

Now of all of that may sound a little confusing and it appears that it certainly was to Canada’s Eugenie Bouchard, who by the way is a very dear girl.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com article, photo via Sportsnet

She dates a lot.

Takes pictures of her dates. Tons of pictures. Giggle, giggle. Snuggle, snuggle.

Posts them online. Along with her wearing a fur coat.

She travels to exotic places, zip lines and shoots videos of herself out in the wild.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com article, Sports Illustrated photo credit via en.as.com

According to TMZ, she shakes her booty a lot too. With a drink in her hand.

Even Good Time Charlie could take a few party lessons from Eugenie Bouchard.

Maybe not tennis lessons though.

At least he wouldn’t have the blues anymore. He did before, because everybody’s gone away.

Except Genie. She’s still ready to have a good time.

While we still can call women beautiful, we’ll also say that she is beautiful.

Extremely beautiful.

We won’t push this too far but we’d also like to call her gorgeous, but that’s just between you, us and the Sports Illustrated photographers who asked her to take her top off so they could take a picture of her.

For art. Of course. Why else?

Just like ESPN shoots “classy” nudes of star American Olympic Gymnast Aly Raisman.


So that women can feel empowered and comfortable with their bodies and men can be very comfortable looking at, a lot of their body, with no top on.

Because were all professionals at Sports Illustrated and ESPN.

They seem to think she is beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, hot and very dear too.

Trust us. A lot of people dream of Genie.

In July of 2018 the creative entertainment group at tmz.com reported, “Genie Bouchard injured her groin last weekend … but she clearly didn’t hurt her butt — ’cause the tennis star was shakin’ it all over the place in Morocco on Wednesday!!

The 24-year-old cruised over to Africa after an injury cut her run in the Swiss Open short … and she looked no worse for wear gettin’ some rehab work in by her luxury hotel’s pool.

In a barely-there neon green and hot pink bikini … Genie made sure to get a couple sets of champagne sippin’ and booty poppin’ to get right.”

Look. Don’t judge. She’s young and well, beautiful. And dear.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com article, photo via worldabcnews.com

She is dear to our hearts as well but in the second round against Mommy (Serena Williams other name at home) she looked like a dear in head lights.

To say that mommy gave her a good spanking is like saying that Sports Illustrated shoots a lot photos of stunning women in thongs so that you can read their philosophical articles.

Are we being self-righteous here?

No, please don’t miss our meaning. We’re crying tears of joy because for the moment we can still call women beautiful without getting Gloria Steinem’s next novel and high heels thrown at us.

Have to admit though, earlier in January of 2019, after watching Genie battle a tough Belarusian in Victoria Azarenka at the World Tennis Challenge exhibition tournament in Adelaide, Australia, where the margin of error for victory was extremely slim, literally coming down to two points, with Genie barely losing, 2-6, 6-4, 8-10, we thought that she would do much better against Serena.

Her match against Victoria was a true nail biter.

We seemed to get Genie confused for a serious professional tennis player. Someone who aspires to reach a reach a Grand Slam final, again.

You remember Victoria, right?

She battled Serena Williams for the championship of the 2013 US Open.

We love Sports Illustrated. For the articles.

When they are not shooting photos of blonde tennis beauties with their tops off, they can write a masterful sports story. On September 8, 2013, here is how they capsulized Victoria’s battle with Serena on that historic day. “In a tense and unpredictable match, Serena Williams steeled her nerves to defeat Victoria Azarenka 7-5, 6-7 (6), 6-1 on Sunday to win her fifth U.S. Open title and 17th Grand Slam title overall.”

As we said. Victoria Azarenka is one tough player.

Which puzzles us regarding Genie.

Did we think that she would beat Serena?

No, but losing 2-6, 2-6 in what seemed like minutes wasn’t what we expected either.

Please don’t take our word for it.

At the global sports and news information source au.sports.yahoo.com they observed, “An outclassed Bouchard failed to hold serve once in the opening set and only managed the feat twice at the start of the second as Williams endured a brief dip in form that saw her make a string of unforced errors. Viewers were once again left in awe at how easy the American champion made the win look and the supreme form she seems to be in.”

Oh, by the way. Here was their title, “Serena whooped her: Super Williams destroys Bouchard.”

Whooping? Genie shouldn’t feel too bad. When your mind seems to be on something else and mommy made it very clear to you that you should be focusing on your tennis, sometimes you get a good whooping in front of others.

Always remember. A whooping is far more brutal than a whipping.

We’re from Texas. We should know.

The world renowned BBC added, “Serena Williams swatted aside Canada’s Eugenie Bouchard in straight sets to continue her quest for a record-equalling 24th Grand Slam title at the Australian Open.”

It was interesting how Serena did provide her with some opportunities by making a few unforced errors herself, but as we observed the match, instead of making the powerful champion win each point, for Genie it was Sydney or the bush.

Mostly her balls landed in the bush and outside the court.

Some may have landed in Sydney.

Though the tournament is played in Melbourne we’re not sure that Sydney was safe from her errant shots.

If you heard a window break in the capital of New South Wales, you’ll know where the tennis ball emanated from.

So what was on Genie’s mind anyway?

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”… Alexander Graham Bell

In our world where we coached at the elite high school level, in California, the most populated state in America, we taught our important player to have a strategy against a superior hitter. Keep her ball in play and don’t go for big shots.

Be focused. Be very disciplined because you will be tempted to break from the plan and hit a big shot.

Don’t do it. Don’t believe your clippings of glory.

Instead, run every ball down and force her to hit winners. If she is hot that day, then she is just too good but most players, even extremely good ones, have a magic number.

If you hit so many balls back over that net in a row, they will at some point make an unforced error.

Is the magic number 5? Maybe 7? Perhaps 10?

In that particular real life high school story, it was mostly 3 to 4 and the superior player would make an error.

Our player had previous won-lost records of 4-10 and 3-11 her sophomore and junior years.

She was static to digressing.

After working with us, her senior campaign at one point saw her boast a 13-0 record, all victories won in two sets, no three set knock down drag outs, and she eventually led her high school to the playoffs for the first time in their school history and was named Team MVP even though her team also possessed a top USTA player who was ranked in the top ten in Northern California.

Our point here is that we wondered why at this huge event where Ms. Bouchard herself previously indicated that in 2018 she seemed to be getting back on track after suffering some setbacks and her game was improving along with being excited about playing against the best player in the world, why she didn’t seem to have a real plan as opposed to this, well I’m going to go for every shot mentality.

While it lasts, check out her interview previously to playing Serena.


Are we being too hard on Eugenie?

You tell us. Is she declining, static or ascending?

Before you answer, we need to provide you with some data so that you can make an informed decision.

Please take a deep breath because her previous resume is exhaustive.

At the 2014 Wimbledon Championships, she became the first Canadian-born player representing Canada to reach the final of a Grand Slam tournament in singles, finishing runner-up to Petra Kvitová; she also reached the semifinals of the 2014 Australian Open and 2014 French Open.

Having won the 2012 Wimbledon girls’ title, Genie was named WTA Newcomer of the Year at the end of the 2013 WTA Tour.

Finally, our then Canadian rising star received the WTA Most Improved Player award for the 2014 season and reached a career-high ranking of No. 5, becoming the first Canadian female tennis player to be ranked in the top 5 in singles.

Yes you heard that right. In 2014 she was number 5 in the world.

Now she is number what? Remember?

That our friends by anyone’s standard is an incredible resume.

We know what you’re thinking.

The only problem is, most of those accomplishments were in 2014 or previous.

This is 2019.

Eugenie is only 24. Not forty.

It’s not like she’s past her prime physically, so what gives?

That was almost five years ago. Yes we know that you can count but we just wanted to let that 5 year increment sink in.

And this too.

This is a player with the skill sets to make it to the final of Wimbledon for crying out loud when she was less experienced.

So what is she doing in her prime years spraying balls in Melbourne, far enough to reach Sydney or hit a kangaroo on the head in the Outback?

Sorry. Actually one ball landed in the Kangaroo’s pouch. Good shot Genie. Best shot of the day.

Then to add insult to injury, after getting spanked and burped by Serena she has the nerve to say that Serena will always be number one to her.


We thought that you were supposed to be number one, at least one day, in the future not just potentially back in 2014.

Simona Halep, the world’s current number one, was quoted as expressing that she respected Serena Williams, but she’s just another opponent.

Genie? Please stop fawning all over Serena. She’s already married.

This reminds us of one of our favorite players in James Blake.

Like Genie at one point he was a rising star. A dangerous young gun. We thought that he was going to have a break through and win a Grand Slam.

We worshiped James. He was and is such a classy guy. Good guys should finish first. At least once.

At a Grand Slam.

Preferably at the one in New York in front of his loyal friends.

He certainly had the talent. Our favorite James Blake memories were at the US Open.

There the “J-Block” would cheer him on. It was fun as heck as we yelled and screamed in unison with his frat styled buddies in their thirties who never grew up.

fciwomenswrestling.com femcompetitor.com article, Getty Images photo credit

Yes put your suit on during the week when you walk down Wall Street, but not here. Instead have big time fun. Put on your light blue T-Shirts and scream like there is no tomorrow.

For James Blake.

Who continues to ascend.

Until he met Andre Agassi in 2005. At the US Open. In front of the J-Block and his fans around the world, including us.

When they aren’t shooting pictures of nude women, which is fine, ESPN can really tell a sports story as they did here about James unbelievable opportunity. “Rendered helpless at the start by Blake’s dazzling speed and precision, Agassi asserted himself in the third set Wednesday night, turned the match around and looked fresher at the end of a 3-6, 3-6, 6-3, 6-3, 7-6 (6) triumph.”

Think about it. At one point James Blake was up 2 sets to none. One step before a Grand Slam semi-final.

In front of the J-Block.

So instead of James Blake moving forward to a semi-final it was King Andre who seemed to be there all of the time.

Move on to who? A legendary champion? Nope. Respectfully speaking…

Against Robby Ginepri, an unseeded 22-year-old who reached his first major semifinal.

Imagine if James had made it? What were his chances of defeating an unseeded 22 year old in front of the J-Block?

ESPN adds, “At 25, 10 years younger than Agassi, Blake was faster, sharper and stronger — for two sets.”

Recently here at the 2019 Aussie Open when Croatia’s Petra Martic lost to American star Sloane Stephens in two brutal tie-breakers in the round of 32, once she walked inside, unaware that she was caught on camera, she slouched to the floor, covered her face with a towel and cried like a baby.

We were proud of her.

This writer has done that too. After giving up the winning touchdown in the biggest game of my high school life.

It hurt. We understand. We’ve been there. We admire and respect her for that.

We look forward to her next fight. Against Sloane Stephens down the road after she continues to improve.

When James Blake lost to Andre Agassi and perhaps his last chance to make it to a Grand Slam semi-final, ESPN quoted him as expressing that Blake said he felt as good as possible after a loss.  “If there’s anyone I’m cheering for, it’s Andre.”

Really James?

Yes we love, respect and admire Andre too. Always will. That day however we we’re cheering for you. To break through. To climb through your closing window of opportunity.

Yes respect Andre but also see him as just another opponent. Like Simona Halep does Serena.

Simona is currently number what?

Mr. Blake never made it to a Grand Slam semi-final. Ever. Anywhere.

In our opinion, his career was never the same after that loss.

Which brings us back to Genie.

Serena will always be number one to you?


Yes Genie is incredibly good looking and she is also very talented, likeable, intelligent, thoughtful and philosophical.

To this date she’s made well over 6 million dollars in prize money.

That will pay for a lot of trips to exotic places where you can sip the sauce and shake your…

Genie even said she has a coach.

Aren’t coaches supposed to be thinkers, mentors and strategists?

Aren’t coaches supposed to know the importance of closing windows?

Thus when Ms. Eugenie Bouchard, representing a great Western Civilization like Canada, entered one of the four most important tournaments of the year, in her prime at 24, you can’t help but feel that Genie’s window to win a Grand Slam is closing.

Maybe it already has. Hopefully not. Watching what she did here however, we’re not encouraged, optimistic and absolutely not inspired.

So given what was at stake and given how she performed, we couldn’t help but wonder…

What in the world was Eugenie Bouchard thinking about?

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