One of the greatest Presidents in United States history, Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying, “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.”
As far as religions go, that seems to be a great one. What if all of the religions of the world let their defined works reflect that thinking?
I think we would all agree that it’s wonderful to feel good. What is it that you do that makes you feel good? Hopefully wrestling women is on that long list.
Unfortunately we don’t always feel good. There are many factors that contribute to that including financial problems, relationship issues, personal conflicts and though at a distance, the world’s problems seem to be creeping closer and closer.
A few of those things we can’t control but what will help us to react in a more effective way so that we consistently feel better on a day to day basis?
We would like to share some information we found helpful by Mr. Robert Chen that seems to speak to this subject. Hopefully by applying what he suggests, it will increase the percentage of time that you feel good as well.
Robert Chen is the founder of Embrace Possibility and author of The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook. He helps people who feel stuck move forward by guiding them to see other possibilities for their lives. If you’re going through a tough time right now, check out Robert’s article on How to Feel Better Right Away and if you’re having trouble getting what you want out of life, check out How to Always Achieve Your Goals.
Here’s what we gleaned from his dynamic article.
What are seven reasons why people typically do not feel well and the solutions to overcome those factors?
Mark Twain once said, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.” When you worry, you’re creating an unreal negative situation in the future, believing it is possible and feeling all the negative emotions in the present. In simple words, you’re terrorizing yourself and really for no good reason.
Quick Fix: Don’t worry. Be happy (Who knew Bobby McFerrin was so insightful). There is no benefit whatsoever to worrying. If there is no solution, worrying about it won’t help you. If there is a solution, you should be using your energy to implement it.
- Giving Up Control
It’s hard to be happy when the world is conspiring against you. People who take on the role of a victim, are never happy. This is because they don’t have any control. They believe that their unhappiness has been caused by an external factor and it can only be taken away by the external factor. They live in the miserable land of “if only”.
Quick Fix: Empower yourself by taking responsibility for everything that is happening in your life. You always have the choice for the decisions in your life. Never give this power to anyone else if you want to be happy.
- Holding a Grudge
How often do you hold a grudge?
With your family members? Your friends? Complete strangers?
Anytime you hold a grudge, the only person that is affected is you. Your target usually has no idea what hateful thoughts you’re throwing at him or what horrible fate awaits him/her in your imagination. Meanwhile, in the real world, you’re unhappy, angry and frustrated and it’s affecting every aspect of your life in a negative way. What are you really gaining?
Quick Fix: Forgive AND Forget. Remember that if you don’t forget, you’re not really forgiving. Do this as soon as you can because if you allow someone to make you angry, you’ve given them control over you (Reason #2). Let it go because the best way to get back at someone is to let them know that they can’t get to you. You’ll be much happier for it.
- Having One Set of Rules
The easiest way to be unhappy is to believe that everyone should play by your rules and that your standards were the ones that have been approved for use by the world’s population. Think about the last time you were angry, wasn’t it because someone violated one of your deeply held beliefs?
Quick Fix: Understand that your set of rules is just that, your rules. No one else has to live by them. Just because you think it’s rude that people don’t wait to let other people off the train doesn’t mean other people feel the same way. Accept that your standards are not other people’s standards and you’ll notice many things that used to bother you won’t anymore.
- Comparing to Other People
Comparing yourself to others can be motivating if you have a strong self-esteem but more often than not, you’ll end up feeling bad about your own inferiority. The reason this happens is because people usually compare only one specific part of someone else’s life and it’s usually the other person’s best part.
Quick Fix: Stop comparing. Accept who you are. If you must compare, compare with yourself. Were you better than you were yesterday. If you must compare with other people, then make sure you compare every aspect of your life. Roger Federer may play tennis better than me but I can speak Chinese better than him. (Yes I just compared myself to Roger Federer and he was found wanting…in one particular aspect of life)
- Making Life Harder Than It Has to Be
“I’ll be happy when I make 10 million dollars.” or “I’ll be happy if I had enough to eat for the night”. Which one of these people will have a better chance of being happy? This has nothing to do with high or low standards. Happiness and success is what you make it. Many of you are making life much harder than it has to be.
Quick Fix: Why make it so hard to reach your goal? Set your own definition of success and define it as something that is achievable today. Life is too short to be spending time on activities you don’t enjoy.
My definition of success is that as long as I am pursuing my passion, I’m successful. How much money I make doesn’t matter as long as I’m pursuing my dream. If I gave up my passion to make a million dollars a year, I’ll no longer consider myself successful.
- Being Pessimistic
It’s easy for us to see things that we look for or that we bring into focus. If you’re thinking about buying a car and doing research on a Mini Cooper, you’re going to begin seeing Mini Coopers everywhere.
The same thing happens when you’re pessimistic. If you think you have bad luck, you’re going to notice all the instances when bad things happen to you. It’s really tough to be happy when you’re only aware of negative things happening to you.
Quick Fix: Look on the bright side. Be optimistic and always look for a silver lining. Having a sense of humor really helps as well. Consciously record good things that happen to you so when something bad happens, you can honestly say to yourself, “That’s interesting. I normally have such great luck.”
Thank you Mr. Chen!
I’m feeling better already and you want to know why? Without thinking about it, I was falling prey to some of the negative factors on his researched list. Truthfully I’m already feeling better because I’m going to actually apply some of his quick fixes.
As a female wrestler, Female Competition International really appreciates the beauty you bring to our great global sport and your hard work. You deserve to be happy. Our feeling is that if you can improve how you feel by applying even just one suggestion on this list, that’s a victory.
You’ve gained many victories on the mats. You deserve to gain one more victory in life.
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Sources: brainyquote.com, Wikipedia, fciwomenswrestling.com, fciwomenswrestling2.com, FCI Elite Competitor, femcompetitor.com, photos thank you Wikimedia Commons.